Sideswipe: Evil emperor of Auckland Super City

Dominic reckons Doug McKay, the new chief executive of the Auckland Super City, is a dead ringer for the evil emperor from Star Wars.

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If you ever wondered why the contestants on Masterchef NZ don't seem to be much chop culinary-wise compared with the British and Australian shows, it might be because the Australian and British contestants have rigorous training off-camera as they progress through the series so that by the end, they are indeed "masterchef" standard. But the makers of the NZ series saw a way to save money so the contestants' cooking abilities remain at the same level as when they arrived on the show.

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Kait writes: "My Mum has been visiting from Canada and we went shopping at Briscoes for a coffee-maker. We got to the checkout with our purchase and the checkout guy, a young male cashier, told us to hold on to the receipt for the 12-month warranty. Mum, wanting a second receipt for her bank statement once back home, asked for a second copy of the receipt. The young man said, 'No, sorry, we can't do that.' Mum, perplexed, responded; 'Well, in Canada they do it all the time.' His response: 'Well ... you might try to return it twice.' We had to contain our laughter as we walked out of the store with our one receipt.

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A reader writes: "Here's a new rort motorists should watch out for. I left a puncture with my local franchised tyre business to fix ($25). I later received a message that the nail was too close to the tyre wall and I would need a new tyre ($165). I was astonished, because the manager had checked where the nail was before I left. I phoned a small tyre business nearby and the owner laughed. He said the first guy was trying to sell me a new tyre because it was much more profitable than fixing a puncture. It's apparently a common 'con' to tell people their flat is unsafe to repair. The second man repaired the puncture without fuss. The first guy is an idiot. Between my wife, my kids and me, we have five cars at our place. But we won't be taking them to that first tyre shop."

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Globish is a "decaffeinated English" that is becoming a widely used international language. Times journalist Ben Macintyre described how, waiting for a flight from Delhi, he overheard a conversation between a Spanish UN peacekeeper and an Indian soldier. "The Indian spoke no Spanish; the Spaniard spoke no Punjabi. Yet they understood each other easily. The language they spoke was a highly simplified form of English, without grammar or structure, but perfectly comprehensible, to them and to me. Only now," he concluded, "do I realise that they were speaking 'Globish', the newest and most widely spoken language in the world."

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