Sideswipe: Economical movers

A reader spotted a man moving his couch with the aid of a bicycle on Greys Ave, Auckland, on Saturday. Photo / Supplied

Opinion

How not to win

Stories of epic sportsmanship warm the public's heart, but there are also tales of epic pettiness. Coach Mike Knowles' girls track team at Monrovia High School, California, had just been beaten to first place in the championship meet - by a record-setting pole vault by South Pasadena High School's Robin Laird.

But coach Knowles noticed Laird was wearing a string "friendship" bracelet, thus violating the national high school athletics jewellery rule. He notified officials, who were forced to disqualify Laird and declare Monrovia the champions.

"This is my 30th year coaching track," Knowles said later. "I know a lot of rules and regulations." (Source: News of the Weird)

Hoodie heroes

A reader writes: "On Saturday afternoon I was at the viewing platform near the Sign of the Takahe above Christchurch. Two teenage lads came along the path and had some fun noisily mucking about. I was so impressed when I saw them stop and pick up a plastic bag (the sole piece of rubbish) someone had discarded and pop it into the bin on the way out. For anyone with doubts about NZ youth I say look more closely, the hoodies hide some very fine individuals."

Just a little joke

Quotable: "Not big enough to play James Bond, not small enough to be adopted by Madonna" - quipped Ronnie Corbett, the diminutive half of 70s British sketch show The Two Ronnies, while sympathising with the British Speaker of the House, John Bercow, who was described as a "stupid, sanctimonious dwarf" by an MP. (Via BBC Magazine Monitor)

Big stretch

Pat writes: "After an operation to remove a ruptured disc in my neck I needed to wear a neck brace and use a wheeled walker to get around. I was wheeling my way along the main street in Milford when a young lady approached me with leaflets about joining a women's gym. I don't know if she was desperate ... or highly optimistic about snagging an injured, 67-year-old potential gym bunny."

Ambulance abuse

The woman who thought only to complain that an ambulance was blocking her car in is all too common, says this ambo officer.

"Even teens giving you a hard time while you're try to save the life of one of their drunken mates! Sign of the times yes! However, for the patient that is sorry to bother you at 2am by having a heart attack, it's never a bother! I suppose it's a balance you get to live with."