Charlotte Arrowsmith saw this sign in a tearooms in Rangiriri, Waikato.
Accident waiting to happen ...
Drivers' explanations of accidents as written on insurance forms:
1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
2. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
3. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
4. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
5. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
6. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
7. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
8. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
(Source: misscellania.com)
Fine by us
The headline for an article in a US newspaper about summer jobs being approved for a Baptist Conference:
Baptist Students Approve 54 Missionary Positions
Who knew there were that many variations...
(Source: Criggo.com)
$20 lesson in dashing heroism
Linda Cooper of West Harbour writes: "We are staying in Paihia for the school holidays and I had just given my 13-year-old daughter a $20 note to spend when it suddenly blew out of her hands, off the wharf and into the sea. She was understandably upset. However, within minutes a tall, dark and handsome young man came to the rescue. In his inflatable dinghy he located the lamented $20, scooped it out of the water and gave it back to my daughter. She now has a benchmark for finding her knight in shining armour."
No substitute for real service
Andrew has responded to the annoying text surveys from Vodafone, thus: "Question One: 'How likely are you to recommend Vodafone to a friend/colleague?' My answer: '0' (=not at all). Question 2: 'For what reasons do you give that rating?' My answer: 'An 8-text rant of my complaints covering their terrible customer service that you have to pay to use (only to be hung up on), complete lack of transparency around billing (that you then have to pay to query), and a brief rant on my shocking foray into Vodafone broadband'. Their response ironically was a perfect summation of my entire experience with this company: 'Sorry. You've already completed the survery [sic]' ..."
An offence worth 60 lashes
A reader was travelling along Whangaparaoa Road yesterday morning following a silver Capella driven by a woman with a ponytail. "Her driving was all over the road," she says. "Because she was trying to put on her mascara while driving at 60km/h! I caught up with her at a set of lights and shook my head disapprovingly and she promptly poked her tongue out at me. Lady, why don't you get up five minutes earlier and put your face on!"
Today's Webpick: This incredibly real-looking SPFX mask is called the “handsome man” mask. Realistic, yes...handsome, no. Go here.
Follow Ana Samways on Twitter.
