Peter Webby of Waimauku doesn't know what all the fuss is about over New Zealand's well-known people taking up knighthoods.
"Any everyday Joe Blow like me can obtain the title of Sir ... Book your travel with Air NZ online, select any title you want and hey presto, an instant knighthood. Just a word of caution: males should never select the title 'Lady' ... got into a wee bit of bother over that one, with the airline demanding I provide further proof of identity. Just goes to show anybody can get in with the ranks of Snell, Meads or Tindall!"
* * *
All the hoo-ha about whether former Labour MP Margaret Shields should have accepted a damehood reminded a reader of the extraordinary carry-on surrounding the knighting of union supremo Tom Skinner in the 1970s. The Federation of Labour boss was anxious about how his union mates would react to his accepting a title. So he got the Kirk Labour Government to test the waters by making FOL executive member Len Hadley the union movement's first knight. Only when that honour failed to provoke a left-wing uproar did Skinner accept his gong.
* * *
A mortgage broker who featured in a Sunday newspaper recently, described his "easy rule of thumb" for deciding what mortgage you might qualify for: "Take your household income, divide it by two and then multiply it by eight". Did he miss out on his 4 times table at school?
* * *
A reader writes: "Weasel-ingested (and excreted) coffee is commonly known as one of the best coffee brews (and the most expensive) due to the weasel's ability to pick ripe coffee beans. The beans themselves are hard and thus not digested properly. This "waste" is collected and sterilised through repeated washings and roasting. And it's actually civets, not weasels. If you want really gross stuff, try mussels. When you eat them, you are eating everything in their homes including their toilets."
* * *
A British chief police officer is hand-delivering birthday cakes to criminals in a bid to cut down crime. Chief Inspector Andy Boyd of the Vale of White Horse even pays for the £1.50 ($3.70) sponge cake himself. Each cake is accompanied by a card that reads: "On your birthday we wish you well, we would hate to see you in a cell. Time to change your ways, go straight, if you don't, you know your fate." Mr Boyd believed the personal touch had contributed to the 18 per cent cut in crime over the past five months. (Source: OxfordMail.co.uk)
* * *
View today's Herald cartoon
* * *
<i>Sideswipe:</i> Book your knights online
Following bad taste baby T-shirts in New Zealand, here's what the little ones in Britain can now wear - a T-shirt with stripper nipple tassels. Available in sizes 0-6 months up to 3-4 years.
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more
AdvertisementAdvertise with NZME.
