Sideswipe: Book shop self-help

This sign in a Devonport book shop is subject to misinterpretation if read too quickly, suggests Richard van Kuyk of Waiheke.

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James Roberts, a Kiwi living in North Carolina, admits to using the odd word that the locals don't understand. However, he says, it sometimes goes both ways. "Soon after arriving here I was at a wedding reception with my back to the dance floor when someone said that the bride and groom were shagging on the floor. I quickly turned around (for medical reasons obviously) to find that shagging is a form of dance round these parts - mostly done to beach music. They even have shagging clubs around here and people have shagging lessons. Enough said."

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Enough to put you off flying: Jim has also experienced overzealous, inappropriate airport security. "To the person with the joint replacement: I too was subjected to a strip search at Sydney airport although my surgeon had provided a letter with regards to my condition. My money, camera and other personal effects were left on a table in the public area; I was led away to a side room, strip-searched even to the extent of having to bend over. Of course nothing was found and no apology. I might add I am elderly and walk with the aid of a stick."

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Another reader says: "I too have a titanium knee. And on going through the metal detector at Auckland , Melbourne or Sydney I always trigger off the alarm. After showing the staff my medical certificate for having an artificial knee, they ask me to take off my shoes, belt, watch and get me to walk in my socks through the metal detector. Off goes the alarm. I am instructed to go to one side and they wave the hand-held metal detector, which sounds its alarm when it's anywhere near my knee. I am 81 years of age."

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Police in Ohio got a call that a man was rampaging around his house and breaking windows. When they arrived, the man had fled, taking bottles of pills with him. The sheriff contacted the man's mobile phone provider to ask them to turn the man's cellphone service on so they could track his signal, but the operator said the missing man's $20 bill had to be paid first. After some back and forth, the sheriff started to make arrangements to pay his bill. Just as he was doing so, the search party, which included two dog units, several fire departments and more than 100 people on foot, found the man unconscious after 11 hours of searching. A police spokesperson said: "It would have been nice if [the telephone company] would have turned on his phone for five or 10 minutes, just long enough to try and find the guy." (Source: consumerist.com)

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You're not really old until you reach 75, according to a survey of attitudes towards older people. Impressions of life in your 60s and early 70s remain relatively positive, the survey suggests. But perceptions change sharply when people think about being 75 or older. Over-75s are seen not only as far more vulnerable and weak, but also as more grumpy and rude, the survey concluded (Source: the Guardian).

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See today's Herald cartoon

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Today's Webpick: Parallel parking is hard …really hard. Watch ithere.

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