Sideswipe: Beware of the dumplings

Fruitworld Albany (left) sells NZ flesh at a bargain, and this sign (right) was spotted at the Pukekohe markets. Photos / Supplied

From The Smoking Gun: Administrators at a Wisconsin high school are aiming to curb risque moves at a school dance. To assure that Union Grove High School students do not get too footloose, school brass have issued official dance rules which outlaw "sexual bending" and the touching of breasts, buttocks, or genitals. Leg straddling is also verboten. And students are on notice that both feet must remain on the dance floor at all times. Which appears to rule out performances of the Charleston, Electric Slide and Cha-Cha. The dance will be videotaped to ensure the safety of all students, the rules note.

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Yesterday James complained about being 6c short at Foodtown and having to Eftpos the piddly amount. Tony writes: "I wonder what his reaction would have been if the checkout operator had said, "here's your change, it's a bit short, do you mind letting me off on this occasion?" Twenty years ago the same rules applied. Pay up or put it back.

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Speed limit vs keeping left; which rule to obey? Lisa thinks Sined James of Mt Albert needs to crack open a road code and have another read. The round sign with 100 in the middle shows the speed limit, not the speed minimum. If other drivers out there are comfortable doing the limit (no matter what lane they are in) then it is not up to other drivers to honk their horns (classified as an audible warning device by the road code - please also re-read the road code on appropriate times to use this). Speed limits are in place for a reason.

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A reader writes: "In most countries, it is courtesy to move over and let someone else hurry to their deaths if they prefer to go faster. It's considered rude to hog the supposed fast lane. Also, remember that your speedo is most likely miscalibrated, as all speedos are; they read between 5km/h and 10km/h too slow. You were probably doing closer to 90-95km/h. I obey the law as much as any other nice young woman, but if I was stuck behind you doing 95 in the fast lane, I'd be flashing and gesticulating at you too. Get over yourself and move over; if you want no part in someone else's rush to the grave, then have no part in it already!"