When in doubt, stick a kiwi on it: Heather Beehre of Whitianga flies this New Zealand flag (pictured right), which she made herself. "A neighbour was so impressed I was asked to make him one as well. Could solve a lot of identification problems!"
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Disastrous Dates (email Sideswipe with your decidedly unromantic encounters):
* "My husband and I had just started dating when we ran into a guy who I had been on a blind date with a few months before. The blind date was not a bad one, but certainly not a love match. As my prior date approached I began to get nervous about what he was going to say. He looked at my husband and said, "Uncle Brian, I haven't seen you forever!" Yes, I once dated someone who is now my nephew."
* "I met a girl that said she was 5ft 10in (178cm) and turned out to be more like 6ft 3in. She said she was nervous and made herself a drink out of the bottle of vodka she brought in her purse. Fast forward two hours later and I am holding her hair as she passes out on the bathroom floor. I carry her into my bed and sleep on the couch. When she asked the next morning if I wanted to see her again, I think she knew it was rhetorical." (Source: MentalFloss.com)
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A reader writes: "I wonder who at Hoyts, Sylvia Park decided it would be good practice to demand that disabled patrons produce documentation proving that they are in fact disabled in order to receive a modestly discounted ticket? This was humiliating for a middle-aged friend who is confined to an electric wheelchair. What gives?"
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Insulted by the tree man: "Auckland anniversary day our neighbourhood was looking forward to a sleep in. Something to which Wayne from a reputable lawn mowing outfit should have been aware. But he started up his supercharged lawn mower at 7.40am. When I ventured out at 8am to ask him what he thought he was doing, he accused me of never working a day in my life, then, if I had, it was on my bum in an office and, as I was walking away aghast, he called out "yeah, your saggy tits prove you work in an office ..." Wayne obviously suffers from his own gender-specific inadequacies.
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Marleen writes: "I saw on your Sideswipe article today about Ben enquiring about a yellow lizard he has in his backyard. Its most likely an NZ green gecko, in yellow morph. This morph is uncommon in the wild so it would be good to know his location for DoC records."
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Today's Webpick: How to wreck a car with a bucket of water. Go here and scroll down.
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