Rudman's city: Library's wordy ways unable to find a perfect dog's body

By BRIAN RUDMAN

You've got to feel sorry for young job seekers in this era of human resource consultants and professionally massaged CVs.

In the good old days, it used to be so simple. Come the university holidays it was on the bike to NZ Railways' Penrose yards.

There, you filled in your name, address, and date and place of birth, completed a tax form and, hey presto, you were in charge of overseeing all goods loaded into a rail wagon for the next three months.

I used to be given the Morrinsville one, presumably because the system noted it was my place of birth.

My first real job was stitched up over a jug of beer in the Queen's Ferry Hotel, Vulcan Lane, with not a CV or employment expert in sight.

Later, in London, a similar casualness prevailed when I was trying to join the London reporting team of a provincial newspaper chain.

My letter of application had been a bit vague about past daily reporting experience, mainly because I'd had none. I needn't have worried.

The heavily accented Glaswegian-born editor's only worry seemed to be whether I would be able to make sense of the various British dialects.

"Well, I can understand you," I rather rashly quipped back. He laughed and the job was mine.

Such days are long gone. That's if seeking a job in Rodney District is anything to go by.

A young acquaintance - I'll call him X to save his name being entered into any employment industry trouble-makers database - wants to be a librarian.

He says it's not an easy career to crack. To get in, you need library school qualifications. But to get into library school you need a job as a librarian. Get the picture?

Last month X spotted an advertisement for a library assistant in Rodney's Orewa public library. He'd had part-time experience shelf-filling at a big library elsewhere in Auckland, and decided to give it a go.

The four-page job description he received from the council left him stunned, since the $26,000-$30,000 post was that of a general library dog's body. The skills required included "daily housekeeping", which involved library shelf-checking and "maintaining the kitchen".

He was expected to do this "within the constraints of council and library policy" while also "continuously seeking opportunities to improve customer services".

As well as tertiary qualifications and a commitment "towards people, literature and lifelong learning", the library gopher also had "to exhibit" assorted "competencies" and "to be continually looking to improve those that are lesser strengths".

These "competencies" spread over two pages and start with the requirement to "exhibit a 'can-do' attitude".

He has to act "decisively when needed" as well. No dithering over one spoon of sugar or two in the head librarian's coffee, that's for sure.

People skills also play a role in the shelf-filler/sink-cleaner's job. He has to be "considerate" of workmates' opinions and display "a positive attitude towards colleagues, management, council and stakeholders".

He has to be viewed by others "as being approachable and open", and also to have "the ability to diffuse conflict when necessary". Are we talking angry pensioners with walking sticks drawn over the latest Wilbur Smith?

If that's not enough responsibility for his $26,000, the successful applicant also "accepts accountability, knows boundaries and displays ownership," whatever the latter might mean. And while he's doing that, he should also show a "willingness to improve self-image".

While expected "to always participate in group discussions and meetings", the gopher is expected to forgo one of the delights of office culture - gossiping.

"Spreading rumours" is one communication skill frowned upon. One that is desirable is the ability to produce written communications that "are concise and easily understood".

Obviously this last skill is not one required of the writer of job descriptions.

X applied for the job anyway, but obviously his shelf-filling, tea-brewing competencies didn't shine off the pages. He didn't make the interview stage.

It looks like he wasn't the only one to not shape up. A council spokesman says the job is still being advertised.