In the Loop: Dating outside monogamy, conversations on polyamory

The women share their story on the In the Loop podcast. Photo / 123rf

While research shows more people are opening up to the idea of non-monogamy, what is it really like for those living in polyamorous relationships?

This week on In the Loop host Katie Harris chats to two women about their love lives, and why they turned their backs on traditional relationships.

The women discuss how they learnt about polyamory, how they deal with jealousy and how they navigate those feelings.

Later in the show, one of the women opens up about how she told her family and what she’s learnt from being in a throuple.

A recent study by dating app Bumble conducted both here and in Australia, it found one in three Kiwi singles either don’t believe in monogamy or believe in ethical non-monogamy, which is when all partners consent to opening up their relationship.

The same study found Gen Z is less likely to believe in monogamy (58 per cent of respondents), compared to Millennials (65 per cent) and Gen X (80 per cent).

Serafin Upton, a sex and relationship therapist who works with polyamorous clients, says like every other relationship, being polyamorous requires being deeply relational and having healthy communication skills.

While she doesn’t see this as different to monogamous relationships, Upton says it requires people to be “more of an expert”.

“People that are poly tend to have better communication skills and better relationship skills than people who aren’t, because they know you need to put in far more focus when you are having more than just one primary relationship.”