My job: Buddy system spreads the load

Steve Sobota says a boy's smile is worth all the hard work. Photo / Graeme Sedal

Name: Steve Sobota
Age: 36
Role: National co-ordinator, Big Buddy (includes central Auckland co-ordinator and training and development manager).
Working hours: 40 hours, Monday to Friday (plus some evening work). Employer: Big Buddy Mentoring Trust (www.bigbuddy.org.nz)
Salary range: $45K to $60K.
Qualifications: Mainly life experience. Some counselling qualifications, sales background, business diploma.

Describe what you do.

I look after the Auckland Central area as Big Buddy co-ordinator. I'm the training and development manager, recruiting and training new co-ordinators and I look for new funding opportunities through corporate sponsorship.

It is a fluid role and I enjoy being responsible for matching mentors to boys, which helps me pass on the skills as I train new co-ordinators. I like working collaboratively with my peers, using all our skills and experience to expand the programme.

What is Big Buddy?

Big Buddy provides well-screened voluntary male mentors to boys without fathers, aged between 7 and 12. In Auckland we have about 120 Big Buddies.

We are a registered charitable trust and an accredited CYFS community service provider. We have been operating since 1997.

Our vision is to provide the opportunity for every fatherless boy in New Zealand to have a Big Buddy. At the moment we are in Auckland, Rodney up to Wellsford, and Wellington.

Your work history?

I have had a background working in travel and in the wine industry and found this interest through my own development. I guess it is because I sought out mentors myself and I've always been concerned [about] the lack of social services for men and boys in our society. I've been working in this area for almost 10 years.

What skills does the Big Buddy co-ordinator role require?

We have a broad range of skills. The role requires you to be autonomous and self-motivated. You work with a wide range of people _ men, boys, mothers, schools and other agencies _ so good communication skills and an ability to listen are important. Most of us are fathers and we've all worked in other community organisations, either voluntary or paid.

Are you a Big Buddy?

No I'm not. I decided a while ago I would keep that separate. However, I am a father of a 7-month-old boy and I try to spend as much time with him as I can.

Who can be a Big Buddy?

Men come from a variety of backgrounds. The average age is 40s and 50s; however, we have Big Buddies from their late 20s through to late 60s.

Some are single; some are in relationships, married. Some have children and others not. Most are just regular guys that care and have some time to help out a boy. The goal is for them and the boy to have fun.

What screening is there?

Our screening process is geared to looking for safe, healthy, reliable men. The process takes eight weeks and is quite rigorous, although guys who have been through it say it is good to know they are volunteering for a professional and credible organisation. We also interview the boys and the mother in their home and do a background on the father if necessary.

There is a bit of magic in the matching process. Sometimes it's an intuitive process but generally it's based on interests, personality, background and where they each live.

We ask for an initial commitment of a year and have a three-month trial for all matches. Eighty to 90 per cent of matches pass that first year to become a long-term successful match.

What are the job's challenges?

Because we're a small team, I have a broad job description, so I need to manage my time effectively, which can be a challenge. It's great to have such a varied role but I do have to prioritise and keep on task.

Why is your job important?

There seems to be a growing number of boys who don't have a reliable significant man to give them time. The programme is simple; it's about a man fronting up in a boy's life.

Most rewarding part of the job?

Seeing a boy smiling when I bring a Big Buddy to meet him for the first time. The mums breathe out and relax ... it's a bit like spreading the load.

Worst part of the job?

Saying no is hard. I get phone calls from mums whose boys sit outside the criteria of us being able to help them. There is a lack of resources to help teenagers or at-risk boys but that takes more infrastructure and a lot more money. Our success is based on matching boys at an age when they are seeking out men to engage with them and do "guy stuff".

Advice to someone wanting a similar role?

Think outside the square. Find something you're passionate about and talk to people in those industries to find out how you can get involved. Volunteer first, which could get your foot in the door.