Immigrant English test a tricky wee beast

6.00pm - By KEVIN NORQUAY

Until today, I was a good keen Kiwi who could name the All Blacks captain, cook pipis on a camping ground barbie, walk in jandals, and spell Sir Edmund Hillary.

Then I tangled with International English Language Testing System, which the Government uses to assess the language skills of potential immigrants.

After sitting a specimen test, I am now an emotional wreck, feeling no longer worthy of my homeland as my English isn't up to scratch.

It's no surprise intending immigrants pay people to sit this test for them; it was hard enough for a journalist who got 70 per cent in School Certificate English.

It starts with an academic reading, entitled Wind Power in the US. Putting aside the sheer boredom induced by that subject, it's a tricky test of comprehension.

Two enthralling pages on the history of wind power end with 10 questions. Questions one to five involve putting the correct word in the right place.

Pencils ready? Here goes:

"The failure during the late 1970s and early 1980s of an attempt to establish a widespread wind power industry in the United States resulted largely from the -- (1) -- in oil prices in this period.

"The industry is now experiencing a steady -- (2) -- due to improvements in technology, and an increased awareness of the power of wind." There are five more paragraphs, but I'll spare you.

Immigrants have a list of 15 words they can insert in one of five places -- they are, criticism; design costs; failure; operating costs; growth; success; production costs; stability; fall; recognition; scepticism; effects; decisions; decline and results.

The next section is multiple choice.

Alternative endings must be given to sentences such as "the potential of meeting one fifth of the current US energy requirements by wind power ...".

Then comes general training reading, in which true-false or not given answers must be provided to 10 questions about a section on daybreak trips by bus.

(Actually the blurb says trips by coach -- I have changed COACH to BUS to prevent you getting confused about why you would want to go on a day trip with John Mitchell).

In academic writing, immigrants get 20 minutes to write a report on a bar graph showing what percentage of 1950s, 1970s and 1990s travellers went by car, bike or foot.

Then comes a 40-minute dissertation on whether you agree or disagree with the statement "it is inevitable that as technology develops so traditional cultures must be lost.

"Technology and tradition are incompatible -- you can not have both together".

Off you go, 250 words please -- use your own ideas, knowledge and experience, support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Next up, a 150-word letter complaining to a rental agency that your heating system has stopped working.

Explain the situation and tell them what you want them to do about it.

Now write for 40 minutes on whether you agree or not that bans on cigarette smoking in public places are a good idea, but take away some of our freedoms.

Done that? Now for the speaking part. In it, you must describe a teacher who has greatly influenced you.

You should say:

* where you met them;

* what subject they taught;

* what was special about them;

Talk for two minutes, starting now ...

I approached political leaders to do the test. New Zealand First leader Winston Peters was keen, his spokesman said.

Green Party co-leader Rod Donald was not.

"No," he said. "I only got 35 per cent for Bursary English."

ACT leader Richard Prebble, a Lizzie Rathbone scholar in English at Auckland University in the 1970s, backed himself to pass the test, and many to fail it.

"I think there is a need for an English language requirement, but this one's absurd," he said.

"I would think 40 per cent of all school graduates and at least half of the adult population would fail."

The results have bands ranging from one to nine. One is classed as a "non-user", with no ability to use the language beyond a few words.

Five is a "modest user", commonly described as having the ability to cope with study at secondary school.

Eight is a "very good user" with full operational command with only occasional mistakes.

Universities require undergraduates to pass the test at level six and postgraduate students to pass at 6.5.

The Medical Council requires foreign doctors to pass at 7.5.

I don't know what the requirement for journalists is, but if you read this, please don't tell my boss. Thanks.

- NZPA

Further reading
Feature: Immigration