Matt McCarten: Now's the time to get rid of the English monarchy and get our own

I don't often get the chance to listen to radio talkback shows. But last week I was in someone else's car. My driver had his radio programmed to talkback. The talkback host was trying to get listeners to call in on their opinion of the "going-ons" over the tangi of the Maori Queen, Te Arikinui Dame te Atairangikaahu.

The host's patter went along the lines of what did his listeners think about the "wall-to-wall" media coverage of the Maori Queen, about whom he said he was sure they had little idea. He would like to hear if his callers believed we should be giving her death so much attention. From his tone, this was a rhetorical question. He said he'd like to hear whether listeners thought the coronation of a new king would have any benefit to Maoridom or would make a blind difference to the woeful statistics of Maori.

Predictably, he got all the usual nutters and rednecks confirming to the world their ignorance and prejudices. Our radio host and his callers hadn't thought to mention the worldwide media obsession when "our" Princess Di died. Her death and funeral was saturation news for weeks. Even the most ardent royalist would have to admit that Princess Di's claim to fame was being lifted from her job as an unqualified kindergarten aide to a royal princess for the sole reason that the Windsor franchise in Britain needed someone young to bear healthy heirs to their throne. Charles' mistress was too old to have any more children, and anyway, Camilla was married. Dutifully, Di provided the requisite male heir and a spare. Of course, she soon tired of being a clothes horse and shot through. It probably was a great relief to the royal inner circle that she had the good fortune to get herself killed. I don't recall any radio hosts at the time of Di's death asking why the media was spending so much time covering her.

I'm sure when Mrs Windsor Senior finally expires, we'll have an outpouring of grief from "the people" with solemn commentary about the passing of an era and what this means for New Zealand. Of course, it's all nonsense. The truth is that the Windsors have no impact on our lives. It's ludicrous, really, when you think that our head of state is a little old lady whose father was German, who married a Greek guy and who lives in England.

By a national consensus we pretend she's our Queen. Most of us are just so bored with the monarchy, but it's too much effort to change. Our governors-general are effectively appointed by the prime minister for a set term of five years. Their main job is to sign anything the government puts in front of them, and when the prime minister doesn't want to turn up to some dreary important function, the G-G goes. The rest of the time the G-G seems to open flower shows and attend charity events. Why anyone would want to do it is beyond me.

When our radio host scornfully belittled the Maori Queen, he should have engaged his brain and wondered at the fact that 100,000 New Zealanders paid tribute by visiting the Turangawaewae Marae, where her body lay. And why, amazingly, according to TV One, 430,000 New Zealanders tuned in on Monday to watch her tangi on television. That figure didn't include Maori Television, which says it had record viewers.

If a constitutional monarch's role is to help us define ourselves as a people, then I think it's pretty obvious which monarch is making the running. The last time the English Queen came out here to visit her subjects she was a footnote. Come on, admit it. When was she last here? When was Prince Charles, "our" next King, last here? Exactly! We don't know and we don't care.

I'm sure the new Governor-General Anand Satyanand is a fine fellow, even if most New Zealanders have never heard of him. Putting another judge up as our Governor-General with a name that most of us can't even pronounce is certainly ensuring he won't be seen as a man of the people. Helen Clark is, of course, a republican, and I can only presume this is part of a cunning plan to win the public's support to overthrow the English monarchy. After all, if past govern-ments had wanted to endear the monarchy to us, they would have anointed Sir Ed Hillary for life years ago. I think we all know that when Queen Elizabeth dies, we should sever the constitutional cord. The Windsors will be relieved. They have been saying for years that whenever we want to let them go, then all we have to do is send them a letter. After this week it's clear what the future of our head of state should be.

The solution to our relationship between Maori and Pakeha can be enhanced in one obvious decision. The coronation of Tuheitia Paki at the Ngaruawahia marae screams possibilities. The reason we have a Maori King is because Maori tribal leaders saw it as a way to unite iwi in New Zealand and to put them on the same level as the British crown. But the English and settlers weren't having a bar of that and invaded the lands of the supporters of it.

But it's a credit to Maori that they have maintained this defiance, even though hundreds of thousands of hectares were confiscated because of their support of an indigenous king. Surely it's time that if we are going to have a constitutional monarchy, we have a relevant one. We need a head of state who is symbolic and who binds us together as a people. Both Maori and Pakeha. Tuheitia Paki offers us all a way forward. Hail King Tu, King of Aotearoa/New Zealand.