KEY POINTS:
New Zealand is a beautiful country and Kiwis do have many good and positive traits, some of which I have written about in earlier columns.
But one downside is the Kiwi inability to cope when things don't go their way. Take the All Blacks' loss against the French, for example.
There are the Doug Howletts, who apparently find refuge in binge drinking and venting their frustrations by smashing things - like the two cars in Howlett's case - or breaking down in tears like Mils Muliaina.
Then, there are those who turn physical and take their frustrations out on others - doing a Sports Minister Trevor Mallard by throwing punches - or worse, by beating up their partners, wives and children.
One month after the defeat and with the Rugby World Cup well over, fans are still lamenting over why and how the All Blacks lost - we were told it was the best team, the best players, the best coach.
Last week, British journalist Mick Cleary said that not only were the All Blacks not fit to win the World Cup, he questioned whether New Zealand was good enough to host the next one.
He wrote in a blog for Britain's Daily Telegraph: "What one does have doubts over is its [New Zealand's] capacity to be broadminded and all embracing, to be generous not just in its simple gesture but in its ability to see beyond the All Blacks."
He said that the sneering tone of commentaries from New Zealand suggests that we have to loosen up, learn some manners and live life with a bit of grace and generosity.
It would be easy enough to dismiss everything he wrote and suggest that this Irish-born writer had John Jameson flowing through his veins when writing this commentary. But maybe it is worth exploring them a bit more.
Judging from the "hellos" and "good day" greetings we get from strangers when walking in the park, one could argue that we are already living in a New Zealand society which is full of grace and is all embracing.
But the emails and letters responding to my columns often show a different side and they sometimes reflect how small minded and not-at-all embracing some Kiwis are.
"It's our way or no way" often marks the tone of these letters, and adds some truth to Cleary's worry.
These are two reactions to a suggestion I made in earlier columns where I said soccer's my game and that I had little interest in rugby.
One reader wrote: "There are a few things you must learn about New Zealand. When you step into a church never mock Christ, when you are in New Zealand never mock the All Blacks. New Zealand is not a Christian country but it is a rugby country.
"If you don't believe in Christ, don't go to church. If you cannot appreciate rugby, don't come to New Zealand."
Another said: "For you to claim cluelessness about rugby, I can only assume you have not been here very long."
A friend, who I forwarded some of these mails to, described these readers using an old Yiddish saying: "To a worm in a horseradish, the whole world is horseradish." Do these Kiwis have the capacity to be more broadminded? Can they see that the world is not just horseradish or All Black?
Judging also from letters I received calling Singapore, the country of my birth, Third World, I do wonder if some are still trapped in a time warp or caught up with hang-ups of their colonial past.
New Zealand may once have been the most advanced country in the world, but this surely is no longer the case.
It has been quite a few years since this country made it to the top half of OECD rankings, other than for being the 13th heaviest-taxed nation.
And according to the US-based magazine Foreign Policy, it has also still quite a way to go before becoming a globally connected country.
The magazine's annual Globalisation Index measures countries in four categories: economic integration, personal contact, technological connectivity and international political engagement.
According to the report, New Zealand's weakest links are with economic integration and personal contact, ranking behind countries like Belgium, Austria, Jordan and even Estonia.
Two Asian cities, Singapore and Hong Kong occupy the top two spots.
Is this lack of global connectivity the reason for having these "worms" in our midst, where some still believe in the myth that New Zealand reigns supreme in everything?
Or is the real reason for the inability to look beyond the All Blacks because of the realisation that our national rugby team is the only hope left to put New Zealand on top of the world? But all came crumbling down with that French defeat.
Forget grief counselling. What New Zealand really needs is a reality check.
