Lincoln Tan: Pain of racist attacks soothed by ditching stereotypes

His words were vile: "Stinking [expletive] Asian - go back to where you belong!"

This racist remark by a Christchurch teenager was said to me more than six years ago, but I still remember the incident like it was yesterday.

I was taking an evening stroll on New Brighton beach when this boy - barely 16 - walked up to me, said those words, showed me the finger and ran away.

Christchurch is a beautiful city where people are generally pleasant and share a common dislike for Aucklanders. But for a small minority who believe their race is superior, the one group they seem to hate more than Jafas are Asians.

Reading the report last week by the Families Commission on the expectations and experiences of Korean migrant families in Christchurch was like reliving the five years I lived in the Garden City.

Not surprisingly, the report found Koreans living in Christchurch felt rejected by Kiwis, and almost all the 36 people interviewed said they had experienced some kind of harassment.

So eager were they to talk about this, they required no prompting from the researchers.

The harassment ranged from being yelled at to having objects and water thrown at them. Some of their stories are sad and others appalling.

One woman who receives constant racial harassment when she goes for walks said: "They used their middle finger and the f-word and [words]like Asian bitch, those kind of things."

The harassment progressed from verbal to physical when one day a teenager threw stones at her and one hit her calf. When she knocked on the door the teen had run to and confronted him, saying she could have died from his stone attack, the teen replied, "Yeah, you can, but it's [expletive] funny."

Racist attacks also make it hard for those struggling to make an honest living.

Unable to get employment, many Koreans are forced to buy themselves a job by buying a business, the dairy being a popular choice.

One dairy owner had eggs and stones thrown at his shop. Another faced constant shoplifting and a 9-year-old racially taunted his daughter.

The police did nothing when it was reported to them, the report said.

The Korean migrants said they had come with a great sense of hope about their new lives in New Zealand, but for some their experiences made them regard New Zealand as a racist society.

For two years before I moved back to Auckland I was chairperson of the Christchurch Asian Youth Trust, an organisation funded by the Christchurch City Council to provide support for young Asian migrants and students. During that time I listened to many similar experiences, and of how the law seems to be toothless when it comes to penalising offenders for crimes of a race-hate nature.

One Korean woman once told me she faced repeated graffiti attacks - "Go back to China" was sprayed on her garage door. But when the offender was finally caught, the penalty was a mere $50 fine.

Almost all the angry racists I encountered in Christchurch were kids, teenagers or young adults. Which makes me wonder - where are their parents in all this? Are the expressions of these youngsters a reflection of what their parents talk about behind closed doors?

Two years ago, a Christchurch lawyer, a Canterbury university lecturer and I organised an anti-racism rally calling for stronger legislation against race and hate crimes - but we all know it will take a lot more than a march to change things.

Perhaps the one other issue that comes up more often than racism in my conversations with migrants is, how do I make Kiwi friends?

The report also found that despite an overwhelming desire by new migrants to develop friendships and contacts with other New Zealanders, more than half of new Korean migrants reported that after 18 months they had yet to make friends outside their ethnic circle.

It said many had made purposeful efforts to meet Kiwis, from joining churches, sports clubs and voluntary organisations to taking night classes, but most concluded that although it was easy enough to meet Kiwis, it was hard to make friends with them.

The challenge I faced in getting young Kiwis interested in other cultures was a near mission impossible during my time at the Asian Youth Trust.

It was easy getting migrants and international students to attend activities such as an umu with the Samoans, but even with a free meal on offer we could not get a single Kiwi youth to come.

There is resentment of migrants who are seen as having no real intent of integrating into society, but does it not take two hands to clap?

The Families Commission report about Korean migrants feeling left out by Kiwis has already made headlines in South Korea, giving New Zealand's warm and friendly image another whipping.

It is unfair for a whole country or society to carry the cross for the actions of a small minority, but that's the way it is.

It's pretty similar to how all Asians are lumped together for the bad driving habits of a minority.

The report has called for a multi-agency approach due to the complexity of problems migrants face, but I think what is needed is a change of heart on our attitudes to foreigners.

It takes effort, but we need to consciously discard the stereotypes and learn to regard everyone as individuals. When that happens, respect, understanding and acceptance will follow.

Families Commission chief executive Rajen Prasad said: "I hope [Kiwi families] are motivated by this report to make extra efforts to befriend the new migrant in their communities."

I hope so too.

For that one racist encounter I faced six years ago in Christchurch, I can list 100 positive experiences I have had with Kiwis.

I hope a day will come when Korean migrants will be able to say the same.