KEY POINTS:
A phone call last week from a friend cancelling the parties he had planned for yesterday and the next weekend came as no surprise.
So sure was he that the All Blacks would make the semis and even finals of the Rugby World Cup that two months back,
he had planned and sent invitations to black-themed parties on the nights preceding those matches.
The invite also included a stay-over at his central city apartment to be followed by gourmet "blackfast" during the Sunday morning games as we watch the mighty All Blacks thump the rugby minnows and bring home the Webb Ellis Cup.
I was slammed for my lack of rugby knowledge back when I first received the invite and had innocently asked: "What if New Zealand does not make the semis?"
This was the email reply I received:
"Not making the finals, maybe just maybe, but unlikely with this All Blacks team.
"But if you know anything about rugby, you would know that for the All Blacks not to make the semifinal is as certain as the sun not rising tomorrow."
Well, we all know that although the sun did rise, the All Blacks did not make the semis.
The day after the big loss, I was standing in the queue behind an elderly man at McDonald's who was wearing a silver fern pin on his coat. I asked in jest if he was wearing it for the netball now that the dream of the All Blacks becoming world champions is over after being French fried.
That really got the old man rolling, as he went on and on about anything and everything to do with the All Blacks, and how he was there at the park in 1987 to see them being crowned kings of the rugby world. We took our conversation and breakfast to the table, where he got rather emotional and said: "How I wish I could see the ABs win the cup just one more time."
Maybe next time, I said, trying to console the guy.
That's when he shared with me that he has been diagnosed with cancer and, considering his age (he is already in his late seventies), he felt that, unlike the All Blacks, there may not be another chance for him.
"I may not be as lucky as the All Blacks to have a next time," he said.
I cannot help thinking about my conversation with him and my friend's All Blacks semifinal non-party as I prepare for my parents' visit this week.
When we first moved to New Zealand, the plan was for us to go back every other year and for Mum and Dad to visit us on the years we didn't return.
We would make a list of things to do for each visit, and if we didn't do it on one trip, we'd always put it aside for the next time.
Things we said we'd do together, like visiting Wellington or going down to Clevedon for oysters, are still on the to-do list.
As sure as my friend was that the All Blacks would make the semifinals, I too have always taken for granted that my parents will always be there, and there will always be a next time and a next trip to do those things.
But as the All Blacks have shown, life sometimes has other plans and it would be stupid to assume that things would always turn out the way we plan or want them to.
Five years ago, my wife's mother was all ready to come for the birth of our second child but she was diagnosed with liver cancer and died three months later.
Back with my parents in Singapore recently, I saw how age had also caught up with them.
My father, once an athlete who used to run long distances, now struggles even with brisk walking, and my mother has had several health scares as well.
In an email from Dad about their coming visit, he wrote:
"The Mum and Dad you know from previous visits may not be the same any more."
It is a scary thought, but it has crossed my mind that this could be their last visit to New Zealand.
The old man who said that not everyone is as lucky as the All Blacks to get a next time comes to mind.
With each passing year, leaving my folks at the end of these visits just gets harder, and I am bracing for this one to be the hardest.
Much has been written about what the All Blacks can learn from their shock exit from the World Cup, but events surrounding their defeat have drummed into me a few life lessons as well.
But most of all, it has made me realise the importance of living the magic of the moment and appreciating every minute of it.
