Lincoln Tan: Letting go of your first country is a hard thing to do

I have been invited to a reception tomorrow in honour of the Singapore Prime Minister.

This is Lee Hsien Loong's first visit to New Zealand as head of state, but even more significant for me is that this could be the last time I meet him as my Prime Minister.

Prime Minister Helen Clark made a call two weeks ago for migrants to make a commitment to New Zealand by taking up citizenship, and I intend to do so.

After eight years as permanent resident, I feel it is time I went the whole hog. But coming from a country that does not recognise dual citizenship, the decision for migrants like myself is made much harder. I have to face the sad truth: the day I become a New Zealander will be the day I lose my Singaporean identity.

Helen Clark was right in saying that the decision would be a major choice for migrants who came from countries that stripped their people of their citizenship when they became citizens here.

While I know my future is with Aotearoa, my ties are still deeply rooted to my country of origin, and because of this, I know there could come a time when I may still need my Singapore passport.

My parents, now in their 70s, still live in Singapore and I may be required to go back for prolonged periods to care for them. I was born at a time when the Government's policy was for couples to have no more than two children, so I do not have many siblings to share this responsibility with.

So sentiments aside, for pragmatic reasons, giving up my Singapore passport is a hard decision to make.

Why not keep the Singapore passport since permanent residents and citizens here have much the same rights, friends asked. Why not enjoy the great lifestyle that New Zealand offers but not shut the door to opportunities in Singapore?

In my line of work as a journalist, I feel that if I wanted to report and critique on New Zealand matters, I have the moral obligation to do it as an insider. To do that, it would mean becoming a citizen.

Like most migrants, I moved to New Zealand mainly for a lifestyle change, not for career advancement or any business opportunities, which I feel are still more plentiful in Asia.

But watching my children, ages 6 and 4, climbing trees in the city parks and running on the beaches has convinced me that I would not want to have them grow up in any other way or anywhere else.

They have more of a childhood here than their cousins in Singapore, who had their childhood demolished by their parents, and are constantly facing the pressure of being number one in everything they do.

Saying hello seems to come a lot more naturally here, but campaigns such as the Courtesy Campaign are needed to put smiles on people's faces in Singapore.

Taking a morning walk around Western Springs last week reaffirmed my belief that Kiwis are generally a friendly lot when almost every other person I walked past smiled and said hello.

But what I enjoy most in New Zealand is that I can express myself freely here.

I believe that only when people are able to speak up on matters that affect them, including politics, can they truly call a place home.

Having the feeling that I have a say and that I'm heard gives one a sense of emotional ownership to a place.

New Zealand to me is a great place, and it is now home for my family and I. But I still face this dilemma: I know that no matter how much fish'n'chips or pavlova I eat, I can never change who I am. Deep inside I will always be a Singaporean. While it is possible to change our place in this world, it is almost impossible to change our identity.

My children continue to be identified with my Singaporean identity even though they were born here, and are New Zealand citizens. At their school's international day, they don Singaporean costumes. So, I do feel a sense of sadness that Singapore will stop considering me one of its own the day I become a New Zealander.

The Director General of the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office, Bruce Linghu, told me over lunch last week why Taiwan supported multi-citizenship for its people.

"We recognise there is a big difference between where people live and who they are," he said. "A Taiwanese will always be a Taiwanese inside whether they are in Europe, America or here."

He said Taiwanese living in New Zealand who hold two passports are therefore encouraged to be loyal to their adopted homeland but at the same time encouraged to retain their roots to their motherland Taiwan.

It is natural for migrants to stick to their own community when they move to a foreign land because of language and cultural familiarity.

I did the same when I first moved here, and have been active with the Singaporean community. In my then capacity as president of the Singapore Club in Christchurch, I have even had the honour of hosting Singapore's President S.R. Nathan and his family to a Christmas dinner.

Letting go and ceasing to be Singaporean is a hard thing to do.

But as someone who has decided that this is where I will want to see my children grow up and where I intend to grow old, applying for New Zealand citizenship is the right thing to do.

Apart from it being an outward show of commitment, being a citizen of Aotearoa would allow me to play a bigger role and contribute to my adopted country as an insider with a personal stake.