KEY POINTS:
Bullying doesn't happen just in the schoolyard, it happens everywhere. Although I didn't see it as bullying then, it was rampant in the Army when I did my military service in the late 80s in Singapore.
The bullying victim is usually someone who is different from the majority of others, but this is not restricted to gender, race or religion.
I remember an Army mate who was a target of insults and attacks because he didn't speak like a Singaporean. Although ethnically Chinese, this man had lived in Perth since he was 5, so inevitably he sounded like a typical Aussie.
In fact it was from him that I first learned the word "crikey", an expression now associated with the late Steve Irwin, Australia's Crocodile Hunter.
His Aussie accent made his Army life a living hell.
Platoon mates teased him about the way he spoke, gave him nicknames like ang-mor peng (literally translated to mean red-hair soldier in the Hokkien dialect), and once he had potatoes thrown at him at the cookhouse.
It wasn't just his mates - his superiors mocked him for being different as well. When he couldn't pronounce the drill instructions, which were in Malay, a sergeant stuffed steamed rice into his mouth, saying: "You have been eating too much potato."
Here in New Zealand, Asian students who look distinctively different from the majority stand out like sore thumbs, making them ready targets for schoolyard bullies.
During my stint as chairperson of the Asian Youth Trust I have heard many stories about foreign students and the struggles they face with their new lives in New Zealand.
A Japanese boy came to me in tears telling me how his schoolmates made fun of his slit-eyes and called him names like sushi brains.
They made vomiting noises when he brought sushi in his lunch box and not sandwiches. The final straw was when a classmate packed a dead goldfish in a burger box and gave it to him, saying it was his sashimi lunch treat.
"I wanted to scold them but I didn't know how because my English was limited," he said.
"All I can do is walk away, and make sure they don't see me cry."
But the problems faced by foreign students go beyond language. It can be daunting enough for them to grapple with a new environment and new experiences, often with no family and friends, without having to face such bullying.
But the biggest problem that many face is the lack of opportunity for interaction in a social environment with the locals.
For my Army mate, the constant interaction with the others in training, camps and sports, soon gained him their acceptance. But this Japanese lad did not have such an opportunity as he was constantly sidelined by his schoolmates for being different.
There seems to be a clear divide between the Kiwi kids and the others in schools here. After more than a year at a top North Shore high school, my 15-year-old nephew from Singapore tells me he has yet to make a real Kiwi friend. I am beginning to wonder if he ever will.
His inner circle includes friends who are Sri Lankan, Thai, and other students, who are children of immigrant parents.
One local boy I spoke to said he detested Asian students because they took away scholarships and university places.
Sadly, such views aren't confined to the young.
A recent Massey University report found many Maori felt that Chinese and other Asian and Pacific people take jobs away from people born here.
Last week, in the Herald's "Schools battling back" series, one school has shown us a way to combat bullying and perhaps remove some xenophobia at the same time.
In its efforts to tackle playground bullying, Manurewa East School introduced compulsory lunchtime sports, when its students had to spend the last half-hour of their lunchtime at an organised sports session with a teacher.
Girls, boys and students of all ethnicities are made to play together, and according to the principal the results have been very encouraging.
What a brilliant idea - and what an excellent way to provide students who would otherwise have nothing to do with each other with an opportunity to mix and interact.
Perhaps the Education Ministry should think of making this compulsory in all schools.
Even in Britain schools have been told that it is now their legal duty to promote community relations and ensure students are mixing with ethnic minorities, according to the Daily Mail. Those who did not faced being taken over by a Government council or even closure.
New Zealand is a multi-racial and is fast becoming a multi-cultural society, and we cannot afford not to get along with each other. What better place to start encouraging more contact with our diverse peoples than in our schools - even if it means making it compulsory.
* lincoln@iballmedia.co.nz
