KEY POINTS:
A code of welfare for companion cats? Oh, please. Cats know their rights and are scrupulous about enforcing them.
The code may stipulate a meat-based diet and a full bowl once a day, but our feline friends will decide what food is right for them. A product may have all the veterinarian recommendations in the world. It may cost more than your own cereal, but if it does not please and delight the palate of your pussy, it will be ignored.
Cats are far more finicky than even the most tiresome of teenagers. As for providing comfortable sleeping quarters and washable bedding, what could be more comfortable than a king-sized bed and Egyptian cotton sheets? Just as tiny toddlers can colonise a huge bed and force their parents to the outer edges, so too do cats know that the most comfortable spot for them will ensure an inversely proportional degree of discomfort for their humans. On the hottest of summer nights, they only get quality sleep if they are wedged under your chin or against your stomach. You lie awake feeling as though you're being microwaved in a fur coat - they sleep the sleep of the blameless and react with some displeasure should your desperate bid for cool air disturb their REM.
If ever there was a waste of paper, it's the production of a code of welfare for cats. A cat-loving friend of mine has a fridge magnet that reads "Dogs have owners - cats have staff" - and cat employees know this to be true.
