KEY POINTS:
The problem with elections and media coverage is that there's really nothing to say for the first few hours.
First 2, then 4, then 6 per cent of the vote is counted and all the commentators hum and haw and point out that really, no one can draw any conclusions from the votes cast so far. It's very difficult not to sound fatuous in the first hour or so.
In terms of the person who said nothing best, John Campbell's monologue probably edges out the opening stanzas of Simon and Mark.
John explained the graphics; he reminded voters that it was the party vote that counted and he warned the anti-Helen camp that it wouldn't pay to open the Chateau Y'quem too soon as the smaller polling booths from rural areas are counted first; the traditionally Labour city electorates are usually the last to come in.
TV3 also did the whiz-bang techy graphic better with their CNN-inspired hologram interview with Bill and Ben, the lads who appear to be the 21st century's answer to the Mcgillicuddy Serious party.
And TV3's use of outtakes and excruciating media moments during election campaigns past and present to mock up a version of Politicians Got Talent was inspired.
So many golden moments have hitherto been gathering dust in television archives. It was nice to see them dusted off for the night.
Both major channels used hot blondes as outside broadcast reporters and they certainly got the attention of the blokes in my lounge briefly.
Snaffling Steve Maharey and Linda Clark as commentators was a good choice for TV3 but that was probably trumped by TVNZ's use of Willie Jackson and John Tamihere.
Both major channels had commentators coming out the wazoo and the group of us gathered round the telly enjoyed playing "who the hell is that" as a diversion while we waited for the results to come in.
I'm a little hurt I wasn't asked to be an expert commentator.
I had a political science major surely that would have made me qualified to comment. Some commentators used had less than that. Still, I'm doing a newspaper column but quite frankly, other media become the poor relations on election night. Which is odd, because other media cover elections so much better in terms of instantaneous results (radio and the net) and colour stories (print and Sunday morning radio).
But I think the reason we have the telly on in the background is because voting is such a community collective event.
I love walking down to my local community hall with my family and my neighbours and casting my vote. It all sounds a bit Obama and his acceptance speech - I never take for granted the right to elect my government. So gathering round the telly is a continuation of that community spirit. On the whole, my mates preferred TV3's coverage - brighter colours, more entertainment in the dead times.
As votes are being counted, more energy. But then I'm writing this at 9.15pm - and as we all know, early indicators are no guarantee of success.
* www.kerrewoodham.com
