KEY POINTS:
I don't know what it is about December 25 - one minute I'm pootling along, the next thing I realise it's 10 days until Christmas.
It always sneaks up on me and I don't know why - it's not like the date changes from year to year.
Still, I'm in remarkably good shape. All the presents have been done and this time I hope I've nailed the perfect present for the Irishman. Lordy, men are hard to buy for after you've given the usual sort of presents in the first couple of years of the relationship, but the blue velour La-Z-Boy with the fridge, the back massage unit and the phone was a particularly successful number from a few years back.
Although my girlfriends were horrified, present-giving is not about what YOU want them to have - it's about giving people something they might enjoy. And he's certainly had his money's worth out of the big blue beast that's been in front of the telly for the past six years.
If you're doing the last-minute shop today and tomorrow, take it easy. Give yourself plenty of time, try to do it all in one place and take a bottle of water to sip as you go.
And go easy on the roads - the disease of aggressive, bad-tempered driving is contagious. Give the fingers or beep your horn at the car in front of you, and you'll turn them into monsters, too. And remember people aren't going out of their way to deliberately brass you off.
To the man who was tooting and hurling invective at my mum as she helped my 97-year-old grandmother out of the car at Chartwell shopping centre, she didn't mean to block your way. It was just the disabled parks were full, and although my nana's fiercely independent, she's a bit frail.
You had to wait two minutes for a 70-year-old and a 97-year-old to get out of your way. But you made them pay for that, didn't you. Have a Merry Christmas anyway, and I hope Santa brings you a new attitude.