Kerre Woodham: Shuffle the pixels and the children are perfect

Oh, if only this option had been available 25 years ago!

I was never one of the great beauties of my generation. I didn't have a date for the school ball, I had a pudding bowl haircut and a pimple so big it almost needed its own ticket. And there is photographic evidence.

My old school photos show a girl with big eyes and a wide smile and if you look closely enough you can detect a willing disposition. But that's about all there was to recommend me.

Now, however, Victorian school children are being offered the option of digitally enhanced school portraits. For just A$8, parents can ask National School Photography services, who have the contract for school photos right across the state, to digitally remove the offending blemish off their child's face.

Many parents ask for zits to be removed because they don't want a permanent reminder of their child's imperfections. It won't be there forever, they figure, so might as well get rid of it now.

Imagine the options! Obese kids can be streamlined, kids who hate their freckles can have them removed, gingas can become blondes, maybe the1st XV can add bruises and cuts to give them a more staunch photographic memorial.

It's incredible. We're living in an age where nothing is as it seems and reality is a relative concept.