KEY POINTS:
I guarantee that in any given year in the 1700s, the burghers of small English villages were meeting on a regular basis to discuss what they could do to prevent the wealthier young men of the villages from racing their gleaming, high maintenance stallions through the town, scattering the citizenry and alarming the work horses.
Throughout history, young men have always wanted to be the biggest, strongest, fastest and flashiest - it's just as well really given that so many of them were packed off to war.
If they hadn't had that fearless disregard for consequences, they'd have made lousy soldiers.
But now, in the 21st century and with the days of citizen armies long gone, all that testosterone and competitiveness is turning toxic. This is a whole different ball game.
The battle between the boy racers and the burghers is on again and it's come to a head in Christchurch.
Residents have been simmering for years over the boy racers' takeover of the city streets during the weekend but now that a police officer has been shot at and pelted with bottles, police have promised to reclaim the streets. In response, militant boy racers have upped the ante.
On their Bebo and Facebook pages, they have promised to use violent means to teach the pigs, the mayor, Clayton Cosgrove and NewsTalk ZB journos a lesson for daring to suggest that the roads aren't their personal playground. At least I think they have.
Truly, if ever evidence was needed for National's policy to test 7-year-olds for literacy, these posts are it.
One frequent poster wrote (and I'll protect the eyes of the innocent by editing the worst of the swear words) "i h8 cu*#z that h8 us ima mother f#ken street racer who lauchez g8z and smokez cu&^z on the streetz witch breakz the f per centkn law itz wat i do and every other street racer so i realy dnt giva f*k about wordz ill say it to the f*kn camera wid my middle fingurez up the media can get f*kd they make us sound worse then useless f*kn pigz that shoot inocent people wen they start co-operating wid us and start letting us legaly oganise this s**t maybe ill shake a pigz hand but at the moment they can get f*kd".
Mmmmm. Nice. Wouldn't you be proud to have that as your offspring? Boy racers, I know there are girls too, but that seems to be the generic term, are in every town but Christchurch seems to have attracted a particularly dumb arse and ugly element.
Take F.T.P - which stands for F*** the Police. They're a fringe group of, and I quote the local police inspector, "cowards ... geeky, skinny persons who wouldn't ever front up to someone face to face".
I'm sure the inspector is quite right. I've browsed what Bebo sites I can without being signed up and their ignorance, illiteracy, arrogance and posturing is extraordinary.
When you're a middle-aged white woman from the 'burbs, you have no idea such lunacy is out there.
They allude to their belief in white supremacy while claiming to love rugby and league; every second word is f***; they have nothing to say other than hate-filled invectives against the police and anyone who disapproves of them; and their favourite music is death metal.
One of them boasted of the female "maggot" he'd beaten up with a wheel brace and his time in Paparoa, which he regarded as a waste because he's not sorry.
Until recently, I thought boy racers were car-loving kids who were breaking the law through exuberant high spirits.
When Connie, a caller to my show, said she was canvassing support for members of her retirement village to saddle up their Toyota Starlets and block off Bealey Ave, I was all for it and offered to ride shotgun.
But this is no laughing matter. Going beneath the surface, these people are ugly and worse, they are dumb. Really stupid.
They can't be reasoned with and the only thing they understand is brute force. So bring it on.
* www.kerrewoodham.com
