KEY POINTS:
It's just two months since I ran the New York Marathon, the culmination of months of training and miles of running. Since I came home with the heavy medallion of the marathon finisher weighing down my luggage, I've done nothing. Nada. Zip.
I figured I owed myself a break. At my age, it's dangerous to over- exercise. I didn't want to be a burden to the taxpayer by having to have a hip replaced before turning 50.
However, bursting with good intentions following the dawn of a new year, I decided to liberate my running shorts from the drawer last week and take them out for a short trot. Just a 30-minute jog to ease me back into a running routine.
And the shorts don't fit. The shorts I ran the marathon in two months ago are too tight for anything other than lending to a friend who might want to go to a party as one of the Village People.
Nine months of training negated in just two months? How cruel. The fat fairy is one mean cow. Okay, so I haven't seen any diet regimes that recommend eating Christmas cake for breakfast, but surely it's just fruit and a bit of flour - a bit like a compact muesli. Practically a health food. Clearly not.
And thus it all begins again. It's such a bore. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I just wish you could get weight loss on hire purchase. The 10kg comes off immediately and then you do the work. And if you fail to keep up instalments - if you don't go for that run or you eat fish and chips - the fat fairy comes and plasters it all back on, with interest.
Everyone knows the way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more but it's hard getting back into good habits again.
The sensible eating regime had to be delayed as one of my best friends was home for a short break and we had to catch up lots, and that involves a bottle or two of chardonnay. But she's now safely dispatched and I have the three-day detox programme from the natural health centre and this week will be the week I begin my new year. Better late than never, I suppose.
