KEY POINTS:
I am fully aware that this is the time of the year when we're all meant to dutifully troop back to work. I do know this. And I do understand the whole economy needs to kick back into gear at some stage, especially after the crap year, economically
speaking, that was 2008. Just why does it have to be right at this particular moment, exactly when I'm finally getting my head round the whole concept of being on holiday? Let me break down the numbers here.
First, you take out the token couple of days before Christmas that we might be granted by our employers, they're not really what anyone in their right mind would ever call holiday-days, are they?
They are "run around like a headless chicken in a state approaching perpetual road rage whilst spending a small fortune perpetuating the fantasy that is Christmas" days. These are far from the relaxing holiday-days we deserve and, therefore, do not count.
Zero holiday-days, so far. Then there are your actual and/or statutory Christmas holiday-days. These are, obviously, Government-approved days of rest and so officially count as holiday-days. And yes, they can be good family fun. But they are also very busy days; what with the whole present-opening ceremony and the cooking of the Christmas lunch and the assembling of the toys with bastard useless instructions and then dealing with the tears and the disappointments and the arguments and the breakages and the sugar rushes and the Queen's message and the whole family deal.
One holiday-day across all the allocated days, tops. And then comes that whole post-Christmas mindset wherein the whole country suddenly wakes up to the fact that they're actually on holiday so either they: (a) leave the cities for some far-flung part of the country that half the population is also flinging themselves towards; or (b) stay where they are and do as little as humanly possible - and try to keep at bay the nagging feeling that maybe those who fled are having a far better time than they are.
At best, two days out of every three here can realistically be called holiday-days, depending on traffic and weather. All of this leads up to New Year and the associated revelry that entails. If this is done properly then at least one day that could reasonably be called a holiday-day will be spent not moving, while trying to piece together the events of the previous day.
Minus one holiday-day. So only now, I feel, have the holidays truly begun. The holidays as we would want them, that is. All obligations, either familial or as the inevitable result of the holiday season calendar, have been duly obligated and it is time to relax.
Except for the fact that it's almost time to go back to work, that is. Sure these are holiday-days but it is like they are holiday-days with the big black cloud of impending work hanging over them. But we enjoy those days; we treasure those days.
And well we should because they are days where the only agenda is to pack in as much fun/relaxation/contentment/serenity as humanly possible. They are pure holiday-days and are worth each minute of each of their 24 hours: doubly so because there are, quite simply, never enough of them. And then we're stuck in the traffic jam driving home or we're waiting at an airport somewhere or we're sitting on our decks wondering where the holidays went. And then it is time to go back to work. Is there any way we can change this?
Can we have, perhaps, a Southern Hemisphere Christmas and New Year on the 25th and 30th of June, in the middle of our winter? Then we could cut those in a few days and save the fun part of the holiday season for the actual season when we can have a summer holiday without all the stuff that gets in the way of having an actual holiday. This sounds like a plan to me. Sure, this would mess with corporate marketing plans all over the world.
Yes, it would send a massive "screw you" message to the Northern Hemisphere but, quite frankly, who cares what they think? All they give us is global warming and boring rugby teams.
The Chinese have a very different New Year from ours, so what would be so wrong with us having a New Zealand New Year that just happens to fall in the middle of the year as we know it?
They're just days, after all. It would only require some bravery from our leaders to make this so and we'd be all the happier for it. Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot we've got a National government now. Scrub that idea.
