We get a lot of parties round our place. Not so much actually at our place these days, but in the surrounding neighbourhood - and not just as summer creeps up on us and Christmas looms large, but all through the year.
I live in a party-hearty kind of
neighbourhood. I don't have a problem with that. In fact, most of the time I like the fact there are people enjoying themselves in our neck of the woods. Okay, yes, there was that time in the wee small hours when the noise control people thought I was shouting at them over the phone when I was trying to make myself heard over the sound of the techno music coming from the house a few doors away, where they seemed to have set up AC/DC's sound system in their living room and cranked it up to 11.
Oh, and I will confess I sometimes get a bit peeved at the guys in the shed next door but only because the shed itself acts like a big bass amplifier and after a few hours of listening to the bass line of Michael Jackson's greatest hits, it can get a tad wearisome. But apart from that, I usually quite like the party vibe round here.
I do think, however, that there should be some kind of town planning ordinance that says that if you live within earshot of any given party, then you should have the right to go to said party.
Thus, if you are, say, sitting at home alone, maybe doing your GST or, in some extreme cases, writing a column for a weekend newspaper and you hear music and the sounds of people having a good time, you should be legally allowed to wander over and join in the fun - as long as you bring a bottle and something to throw on the barbecue. If you show up and say, for example, "hi, I'm James from over the back fence", then whoever is hosting the party would know you have the right to be there under the Earshot Rule and they must welcome you in as if you were their best friend in all the world, even though you've only ever waved at them over the fence while you're out doing the garden.
Sure, the likelihood is that you won't actually know anyone at the party and you'll make pointless chit-chat with complete strangers before ending up alone in the kitchen, sipping someone else's wine because you've finished all yours trying to get up the courage to make pointless chit-chat with complete strangers.
But then again, maybe not, because New Zealand is the land of one degree of separation, so it is highly likely there will be someone you know at the party or a long-lost distant relative or someone you went to school with - who you remember but they don't remember you.
Look, I'm not saying the Earshot Rule means you have to go to every party on your block, just that you have the right to go if you want - especially if, hypothetically, the party sounds particularly jolly and you haven't been invited to any parties for a while and you're beginning to suspect that people don't actually like you very much.
Under a set of circumstances like that, then it would be a good thing to get out instead of sitting at home watching The Best of Top Gear on MySky, and for your neighbours to show you a good time on a Saturday night. That's all I'm saying. The Earshot Rule would, I feel, have a positive effect on society, even beyond simply giving the socially retarded a shot at company. Rather than calling noise control at 2am to complain about the crap music from the house next door, wouldn't it be less confrontational if you could pop over and give them a mixed CD of decent music to put on their stereo?
Also, being able to drop in every time someone on your street threw a shindig would be a good way for the inquisitive among us to see what the inside of their neighbours' houses look like - a good thing if you happen to be nosy.
So there we have it: one simple suggestion to bring peace and harmony to any neighbourhood as we lurch into the Christmas party season.
Remember, while you're having a good old time quaffing your chardonnays and recapturing your long-lost youth crashing round your living room to Another Girl, Another Planet, there are people out there, within earshot, less fortunate than you, not having anywhere near as much fun.
Spare them a thought, invite them in, give them a hug - and they may love you for it.
Opinion
We get a lot of parties round our place. Not so much actually at our place these days, but in the surrounding neighbourhood - and not just as summer creeps up on us and Christmas looms large, but all through the year.
I live in a party-hearty kind of
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