KEY POINTS:
How's this for road rage. You've just moved to Sydney to take advantage of our higher wages. You can't afford a home close to work because of our higher rents, exorbitant house prices and rising interest rates. So you purchase a house on the city fringes in Camden.
It's late. You're driving home along Camden Valley Drive, through semi-rural bushland. Suddenly a tall, dark chap emerges from the bushes, running in front of your car. You swerve and just miss him. You're unhappy. You wind down the window and get a better look at the chap.
He looks to be of Middle Eastern appearance, his face adorned with a thick bushy beard and a larger-than-normal nose. He has long, dark curly hair and is wearing a long robe. He looks like he's been running away from some people.
But you're still angry. You scream out blasphemously: "Jesus f******g Christ!"
I hope I haven't offended the religious sensibilities of Muslim and Christian readers. Despite some theological differences, both sets of believers look forward to Christ returning to establish peace and justice on the Earth.
The man looks up to you and says in a thick Bethlehem accent: "Why dost thou swear at my name? Thou surely art as imbecilic as the evil folk who runneth me out of Camden where I cometh to establish the kingdom of God on Earth. These folk doth confuseth my message with that of the Archbishop of Canterbury!"
Yes, Australia is full of strange people. Many Australians regard themselves as Christian and sing Christmas carols each December about a baby born in a manger in Bethlehem some 2000 years ago.
A fair few of them honour the baby's mum, addressing their prayers to her in churches adorned by statues of her. Yet some of these people don't want anyone who looks like Jesus living in their neighbourhood.
And they certainly don't want to see women in the sort of Middle Eastern clothing Mary used to wear.
Recently the municipal council of the outer-Sydney semi-rural suburb of Camden ruled unanimously against a development application to build a Muslim independent school. Another high school is located a few minutes' drive up the road. The local council claims it ruled on planning grounds.
Many local residents, however, seemed less interested in planning issues. They focused on somewhat more esoteric matters. One resident showed his appreciation for the dress code of Christ's mum, telling ABC Radio: "If it [the school development] does get approved, every ragger that walks up the street's going to get smashed up the arse by about 30 Aussies."
Merry Christmas to you too, kind sir. But this gentleman's words were just a taste. The Camden Advertiser reported some of the 3000-plus objections to the proposal, including this classic: "What next? A Taj Mahal?"
Much of the opposition in Camden has been orchestrated by outsiders, including Christian fundamentalist politician Fred Nile. Now, Nile is an expert on all things Muslim. During a recent state election in New South Wales, he told the Liberal Party that he would not share any preferences with Liberal candidates who were Muslim.
Nile elaborated for journalists - his Christian Democratic Party would refuse to give preferences to the Liberal candidate for the inner-Sydney seat of Marrickville, an Egyptian chap named Ramzy Mansour.
Then again, Marrickville is a safe Labor seat. Even the prayers of Ramzy's Coptic Orthodox parish priest and all parishioners in his church couldn't have got him the seat.
Some Camden residents have a slightly better understanding of Islamic traditions. The Advertiser ran a profile of an Anglo-Australian Muslim woman who had lived in the Camden area for over 15 years and who just happens to cover her head with a loosely fitting scarf. Until that article, she had been active in the local community.
Now, she feels shunned. One of her adult children described her feelings to me. "Mum asked one of them, 'What's changed about me?"' Then one of the locals said to her, "We thought you were wearing that thing because you had cancer". Yeah, right! Cancer for 15 years?
Some locals placed two pigs' heads on stakes at the entrance to the proposed school's property. The space between the pigs was draped with an Australian flag. Such respect for the flag. Such patriotism.
Yet still some are insisting with a straight face that this has nothing to do with racial or sectarian bigotry. Among them is Emil Sremchevich of the Camden Residents' Action Group. Sremchevich declared with a straight face on the Channel 9 Today Show that the vast majority of objections made to the council were based on planning grounds.
He blames the media for zeroing in on rednecks. I'd love to believe him, except that he was shown on the ABC Stateline programme as saying: " ... the Muslims don't wish to integrate because they've obviously displaced a lot of people out of it."
And when two pigs' heads were found on the property, he lamented the incident had distracted from the real issues. When I see two decapitated pigs flying over my house, I'll believe the Camden school issue has nothing to do with racial or sectarian bigotry.
