KEY POINTS:
Dr Mustafa Farouk, 46, food scientist in Hamilton. Married to Bilkisu who's studying to be a nurse. Five children aged 3 to 17. From Nigeria, 12 years here.
"In Nigeria we have extended family relations and everybody looks out for everybody in your neighbourhood. A lot of things are shared communally. We have this in common with Maori.
"If my wife gives birth in Nigeria, for 40 days she won't do anything, as people will do everything for her.
"We don't have social support, no dole. We have to look after our parents when they're old. I send money back to my mother.
"Previously, I lived in the United States where they are more individualistic than New Zealand.
"The education system here is excellent, the teachers and schools are accommodating, culturally sensitive. The only difference here is school children don't have much respect for teachers and elders. "Very rarely do you see a younger person disrespecting an older person in Nigeria. I think we accommodate too much from the kids here, we give them too much leeway.
"I come from a nomadic background. An 8-year-old girl or boy can take out 100 cattle, feed them, water them and bring them back. An 8-year-old boy would be able to look after his sister very well. We don't tend to allow kids to take responsibility early here.
"In the culture I come from the men provide for the women 100 per cent. A woman may choose to work and contribute, they may run their business, work in a high position, but the primary responsibility for the family, financially, is on the man.
"Here, everyone contributes. It works well, couples have a good partnership, but I also see traditional families where the men are still the providers.
"New Zealand women have done very well for themselves, it's a good thing. Back home, that's something some women want to emulate.
"New Zealanders generally assume women in Nigeria are suppressed. When people say that I just laugh. Nigerian women probably have more freedom than women from a lot of places, they do what they want to do, they don't have to contribute to family finances - really, the man there is suppressed!
"Here, the woman has to work, she has to look after the children, she has to contribute equally with the husband even though she's the one who gets pregnant. Women work harder here.
"Women have a lot of power in Nigeria, they are responsible for a lot of decision-making. We believe we are equal in the eyes of God, but everyone has their role they can play the best. Equity rather than equality.
"New Zealand has a better work ethic than Nigeria, there's more transparency in workplaces, less nepotism.
"As an African-Muslim, I don't find myself being disadvantaged here. If anything, I can practise my religion better here than in Islamic countries: we can dress however we want, we can pray at work and everyone has respect for us. "Although a lot of Kiwis have travelled, some people think we come from a jungle. People want to know if you've been chased by a lion. A lot of Nigerians have grown up without seeing a wild animal, and we have big cities.
"I like that people here are very straightforward. People respect you regardless of what you believe as long as you are hardworking. I also like the fact that New Zealand authorities are very concerned about human rights."
