KEY POINTS:
Alec Roxburgh, 38, building surveyor in Auckland. From England, four years here.
"On the surface, New Zealand appears to be forward-thinking and modern, but the population is quite restrictive. You can see it in social events, the media, the arts.
"The good sides of a small population are
that you never really have to queue, and you can have contact with people from different backgrounds more easily.
"There's a better team work ethic here. A lot of that has to do with the relative lack of class structure, which I love. People treat each other with more respect and consideration, people are very polite.
"Superficially people are friendly, but that's Kiwi politeness, it's about making the right impression rather than a genuine interest. It took me a while to understand that. Creating friendships is hard.
"New Zealand has some liberal policy, but underneath, it's still a morally conservative society. It's hard to be substantially different in any way, whether it's through clothing or eccentricity or niche genres and groups. It's hard to step outside the mainstream because there isn't very far to go.
"Kiwis can find it hard to laugh at themselves. With English people I'll lay into people when I first meet them to see if they can handle it, whereas you have to get to know Kiwis well before you do that.
"I get asked Do you like it here?' all the time. And I love saying no, it's shit, I can't wait to go back.' And the look on people's faces!
"In Britain, we take the piss out of ourselves, the country, at times to our detriment.
"New Zealand is still very much a chauvinistic society. A lot of women aren't interested in being femininely dressed. In England, women use their ability to dress, here women don't see that as part of their arsenal.
"The dating scene is different here. In England, you can know quite quickly whether a woman is interested in you by the way she looks at you. Most English women can smile with their eyes, but not Kiwis. It took me a while to get used to, because on one hand Kiwis are open and friendly, but that doesn't mean they have any interest in you. Kiwis operate on a code I don't understand. You can be sitting there thinking, oh well, nice to meet you, but then she's jumping you.
"Kiwi men don't seem to look for any particular cues, they just tend to dive in and if they get told to f**k off, they do. There's not much subtlety.
"In England, it's seen as polite to accept a drink and rude to refuse, whereas Kiwi girls will refuse a drink. Accepting a drink is almost seen as entering a contract: it says you're on your way to something. "Kiwi women are much more blokey in their approach to relationships. Here, you might see a woman a couple of times then she stops returning your calls. In England, most women will say something like, I don't think we have anything in common.
"I love the scenery. And it's so accessible."
