KEY POINTS:
A quarter of a century of close relations - be it between marriage partners or Governments - calls for a celebration.
Unfortunately this week's Trans-Tasman Business Circle event to celebrate the 25th anniversary of closer economic relations between New Zealand and Australia was a bit like celebrating a family silver wedding party with only mum present.
Dad was off somewhere else, apparently so comfortable with the relationship that he didn't mind dishing out a public slight to mum - or simply chasing after his other more rewarding partners.
Prime Minister Helen Clark assured the business audience that New Zealand and Australia shared a special relationship, one which Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and she had agreed last month was as close as it gets.
Clark's Government obviously places incredible importance on the relationship and mustered a stellar turnout of Cabinet ministers to celebrate it: Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister Michael Cullen, Trade Minister Phil Goff, Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Commerce Minister Lianne Dalziel. National's deputy leader Bill English and trade spokesman Tim Groser were also present, with former National Cabinet ministers Jim McLay and Hugh Templeton.
But the Australian side mustered just two dignitaries: its Auckland-based consul (a recently arrived one, at that) and, the new chief executive for SkyCity, who miffed the folk at my table by putting New Zealand on a par with Tasmania.
The organisers said Australian Foreign Minister Stephen Smith and Trade Minister Simon Crean would have liked to attend. But their diaries didn't marry up.
Surely Smith, who was in Auckland this week for the Pacific Forum Foreign Ministers' meeting, could been persuaded to stay another night, or Crean could have come from Melbourne for the evening.
Crean did, however, make time to meet National leader John Key in Melbourne that day. Let's put in a disclaimer here.
I'm not raking up this issue on the New Zealand Government's behalf. Clark's team are unfortunately too much imbued with that over-rated national virtue of modesty to stamp their feet and tell Australia this anniversary function mattered. The Trans-Tasman Business Circle won't be too happy, either, by public attention being drawn to the unfortunate reality that despite Rudd's politicking, his Government, which has fraternal party links with Clark's, has taken New Zealand for granted.
Clark assured business that the single economic market agenda started by Cullen and former Australian Treasurer Peter Costello remained core business for the new Australian Labor Government.
But the reality is more prosaic. The Closer Economic Relations or CER agreement was a major deal. It is still heralded by the World Trade Organisation as the world's most comprehensive, effective and mutually compatible free trade agreement. But it hasn't gone as far as its original authors believed possible when the deal was inked 25 years ago.
Former Cabinet Minister Hugh Templeton believed New Zealand and Australia would have formed a customs union or an economic union some time in the 1990s. This did not occur. The relationship did not step up a gear until the much maligned Howard Government decided it was time for Australia and New Zealand to form a single economic market.
There have been some gains in the five years the SEM has been on the table. But the big transformative policies that really matter, like monetary union, are still not up for discussion.
Australia has provided a lifeline for the New Zealand economy through the bigger market it offers our businesspeople, and also for the greater opportunities for our people to prosper in a more vibrant economy to which they have open access.
Australian companies have scooped up the cream of New Zealand private businesses. Australia also gains through the infusion of our talented people in its work force attracted by higher pay and more optimistic conditions, where they can be themselves in an environment where modesty is not a defining virtue.
This matters to us. There are few New Zealand families who have not recently farewelled loved ones who have gone to live in Australia. My son has just begun doctoral studies in Canberra. He is grateful for the marvellous education he got at Auckland University but to progress in his chosen scientific field he must go overseas.
Our family is lucky; we are able to travel and keep in constant contact. But others are not as fortunate. I think it's time Rudd and his ministers assessed the real contribution New Zealand makes to Australia's fortunes. If we are to stay family, attendance at future celebrations should be compulsory.
