KEY POINTS:
Macsyna King says she is a mother "haunted" by the deaths of her twin boys Chris and Cru Kahui, and she will not rest until "who" or "what" killed them is found.
Until today King has said nothing about the not guilty verdict against former partner Chris Kahui, but yesterday she claimed to have endured "fear, pain and suffering" since the twins' horrific deaths nearly two years ago.
King - who remains in hiding - would not be interviewed in person, but did agree to provide a written statement after a series of questions were submitted to her by the Herald on Sunday.
In that statement, the 31-year-old mother-of-six - who the defence maintained throughout the trial had inflicted the injuries on the twins - said she believed the jury "in their wisdom" had made the right decision in acquitting her former partner.
"This has been an extremely traumatic time for us all, especially for Chris and I. We have had to bury our grief at the loss of our two beautiful boys and our lovely bonny 3-year-old [Shayne] through the ordeal of the criminal investigation and trial," King said.
"The stress and strain of the last few weeks has been enormous, and I am grateful that I can now return to some sort of normal life and let the grieving process carry out its due course so my beautiful babies can be put to rest."
King vowed she would never give up trying to find her twins' killer.
"Please understand, I will always be haunted by what happened to my babies, and I will not rest until I find the answers - and who or what is responsible."
King was the Crown's star witness in week one of the six-week trial and repeatedly denied inflicting the twins' fatal wounds during her two days on the stand. At one stage in the trial, evidence was provided by a former boyfriend of King's who claimed he was told by her in December 2006 that, "Chris didn't do it, I did it".
Although his evidence was largely discredited, King's credibility - and character - was subject to intense scrutiny.
Over the course of the six weeks, she was painted as an angry, violent woman who smoked P and drank heavily.
With six children to three different fathers, King was accused of abandoning her three eldest children into the care of their fathers because she was simply unable to cope.
Yesterday in her statement there was no mention of those children, only the dead twins and 3-year-old Shayne who was seized by Child Youth and Family at the time of Chris and Cru's deaths.
"We have been tested in so many ways, and there have been times when I have felt I can no longer endure, however life goes on, and I still have my one little boy who has kept me focused in my determination to survive and grow past this time."
King also has a 13-year-old son.
King said she had taken huge strength from her family who had "belief in our innocence".
"It has been a whirlwind of emotions, fear, pain and suffering for us as well as those close whanau who have become unwittingly involved," she said.
"I would like to thank my family, hapu, legal support and members of my extended family, friends and members of the public for your support, care and aroha over the past two years."
King did not say what plans she had for the future, but close friend and "life coach" Shane Wenzel revealed her goal was to one day pursue a singing career - and regain custody of her children.
Wenzel said King had had a difficult upbringing and she carried a lot of pain from her childhood.
This, coupled with the anguish she had suffered over losing her three eldest children, had created a great deal of sadness in her life.
"She was a bit lost. She knew she had to transform and change herself and was looking for that guidance," he said.
Wenzel said King spent 15 months working with him, leaving when she developed complications while carrying Chris and Cru.
"She might not have been the best mother, but she had a go... with the knowledge she had."
