Dialogue: Yes, we can look after ourselves

By SANDY BURGHAM

One of my pet hates this year has been that stubbornly recurrent television commercial where the girl who is happily working late is interrupted by her overly concerned snaggy boyfriend, phoning to find out if she is looking after herself.

Hello, me, she stupidly replies, yes your little girl is looking after herself. While it is flattering to know someone cares, this "yeah, right" moment serves to highlight how inappropriate and suffocating it is when they care too much.

And since these same emotions were evoked last week by an unrelated event, I must draw some parallels.

It was the rulings requiring surfers and windsurfers to wear wetsuits and lifejackets on selected beaches that had me gagging

It blends a Big-Brother-is-watching controlling mentality with an annoying touch of Mum-wants-you-to-wear-a-cardie. It's one thing to swim between the flags but another to be told what to wear.

Of course, the councils will tell us they have our best interests at heart, but they have to learn to let go.

While the argument is that compulsory flotation devices will eventually save lives, if we continue expecting the authorities to over-parent us, I fear we will never learn to look after ourselves.

I have, in previous columns, explored the worrying political correctness that is creeping into our society, another pet hate of mine. Like ivy, which looks fine on the outside, it can choke the other things it is supposed to complement and often damages the foundation it grows over. How will kids learn survival skills and self-responsibility if we keep taking the risk out of life?

In this era of being too scared to allow the kids to wander out of the compound of the family section, tree huts are regaining popularity so kids can have an adventure in the security of their backyards.

How interesting it is that some parents can't resist putting up a safety net underneath their huts to catch clumsy children.

Will safety nets such as these save lives? Possibly not in the long term, as kids will be programmed to assume that someone else is responsible for their safety.

While the new rulings will be a lifesaver for some parents, especially the more nervous, for others it will be the last straw in overcomplicating even the simplest trip to the beach.

Ever tried packing a car to take the family to the beach? A one-hour beach excursion takes at least two hours to pack for, and once you're there, it requires four trips from the car to the sand just to unload everything. I have developed a deep respect for Sherpa Tenzing Norgay as I watch kids run ahead with a towel leaving myself and other mums to struggle with drinks, food, mats, hats, mags and bags ... not to mention the various pieces of beach fun equipment.

And now we are expected to add lifejackets and wetsuits.

Hah! Already our summer days are filled with slapping SPF 30 on the kids after each swim.

Apart from the inconvenience, these rules also encroach on an important ritual in New Zealand, one firmly rooted in our fondest memories.

Remember taking out an old chipped polystyrene board to brave the waves, thinking you'd go in only for a few minutes and then being hooked until the tide went out or the sun went down, whichever came first?

Whether you are a surfing aficionado at the deep end or a leisurely boogie boarder in the shallows with the kids, New Zealanders like being kicked about by the big bad surf.

It's what we do. And it's one of the few cultural activities that is ageless and timeless and socially indiscriminate.

What a great leveller it is to play in the surf with smiling strangers over summer - all races, ages, and social economic levels bound by their love for letting loose in the water. I fear that on some beaches this summer this sense of freedom and spontaneity will be lost.

So, thanks for you concern about our safety in the surf, but at some stage we really need to learn to make some judgment calls for ourselves.