Dialogue: The women who let their men hide behind their skirts

By SHELLEY BRIDGEMAN*

Liz Hurley, Hillary Clinton, Carolyn Todd and Jacqui Samuels are part of a growing band of devoted women who support their men in the face of bad publicity.

When the reputations of Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, Mark Todd and Dover Samuels took a very public nosedive, their respective partners rallied round them in the faint hope that some of their own respectability might rub off and reduce the tawdry nature of the allegations.

These days, the weapon of choice in attempting to alleviate tarnished male images is the defence of a loyal wife or long-term partner. Men who were previously famous for their independence and individual achievements, overnight develop a penchant for being publicly and visibly connected to their women.

The irony in most cases is that if the accused parties had spent more time with their own wives in the first place, they would probably never have needed to parade them in order to raise their own credibility quotient.

And anyway, isn't the prospect of strategically using a loved one to boost one's ailing public image rather unpalatable?

In practice, though, the wives are a formidable line of defence when allegations are made about the private lives of public figures.

They're a demure and stabilising influence when their men's peccadilloes and quirks are roundly debated in the media.

When a relative unknown like Carolyn Todd suddenly adorns the covers of women's magazines with the accused - her husband - it's obvious that the public relations machine has rolled into action.

Mark Todd's recent comments have been peppered with the terms "we" and "us" when previously "I" was the word of choice.

It's as if that piece of verbal dexterity might divert attention from the fact that he, and he alone, is the target of the tabloid allegations.

His references to his strong relationship with his wife and the mutual respect they share are classic and well-documented components of this particular and increasingly popular strategy.

And did anyone even know that Dover Samuels had a wife until those allegations emerged? She'd been fairly much in the background until she was needed for photo calls to supply a veneer of dignified respectability to the former Maori Affairs Minister.

Clearly the implication is that we - the public - should follow the example of the wives and partners. If they, the supposedly betrayed ones, can get over the allegations, we should all stop choking over our cornflakes about them, too.

The assumption that we're all supposed to make is that a married man is far too dignified and respectable ever to have indulged in any peculiar or illicit pursuit. Surely a regular family guy couldn't possibly do that kind of thing.

From the moment a staunch Hillary Clinton came out in defence of Bill - despite the goings-on in the Oval Office - and claimed to be standing by her man, she unwittingly subscribed to a trend that was to reverberate around the world.

When Hugh Grant was found with his trousers down, faithful girlfriend Liz Hurley stuck by him. But her "grin and bare it" approach in her trademark Versace dresses suddenly became "grin and bear it" occasions as she endured the attention of a scandalised world.

It's difficult to know whether these women should be admired for the true love and devotion they displayed or derided for blind and unerring loyalty which can sometimes seem more like a character flaw than an asset.

At least Liz has split from Hugh, while Hillary's off strongly pursuing her own political campaign, so perhaps there is a sense of natural justice after all.

There is no doubt that it pays to have a wife or long-term girlfriend in order to assist the illusion of propriety and seemliness.

When George Michael was caught in flagrante delicto in a public toilet, he had to weather the storm alone, without sweet words of support from a close female.

Perhaps that explains his recently developed attachment to Geri Halliwell.

Perhaps she's a long-term investment and he's hedging his bets in case he's sprung again. After all, if it's good enough for the American President, surely it's good enough for anyone.

One thing's for sure, though. Regardless of whether the accusations are true or false, after a selfless favour like that from their loved ones, those men will be doing the dishes and putting out the rubbish for many moons to come.

* Shelley Bridgeman is an Auckland freelance writer.