Dialogue: Ten good reasons to love our movie

By DIANA WICHTEL

It is difficult to see the downside of the phenomenal success of The Lord of the Rings but, this being New Zealand, some have tried.

Local journalism's grouches and hobbit-haters - you know who you are - have been doing their patronising best to imply that anyone who likes the film is a dupe of corporate hype and the mindless cheerleading of everyone in the local media except, of course, themselves.

True, there was a lot of hype. I loved the books when I was 17 and now have to stop myself from fixing strangers with a glittering eye and raving about the film. But, even for a fan, declaring the only marginally hobbit-like Pete Hodgson "Minister for Lord of the Rings" was going a bit far.

Still, I doubt very much that the judges of the Baftas were unduly influenced by the antics of our wacky MPs. Or by Wellington's evening paper taking leave of its senses, dubbing itself the "Middle Earth Post" for a week. Sorry, we dupes were right, the film is a winner.

There's no guarantee that The Lord of the Rings will do as well at the more political - and often distressingly politically correct - Oscars. Though major contender and Kiwi Russell Crowe's Tony Soprano-esque discussion with the producer of the Baftas for cutting his speech might well have improved our odds.

Whether or not the film wins something on March 24, there are at least 10 good reasons - well, 10 reasons, anyway - The Lord of the Rings is The Great New Zealand Film we've all been waiting for:

(1) Because it won five Baftas. Five. Count them.

(2) Because it annoyed Australians. Martin Graham's widely reprinted, vicious and, admittedly, hilarious attack in the Sydney Morning Herald has seen him appear on Holmes. "I would have thought that the biggest problem faced by the producers," wrote Graham, "was making Wellington look modern enough to pass for anything after AD 1300." He later apologised. Sort of. "Yes, I have been to Hobart on a Sunday," he admitted. "Point taken."

(3) For getting away with casting local soap icon Craig Parker as an elf. When you think about it, for getting away with casting anyone as an elf.

(4) Because the film reflects the deep vein of unease about women that has made New Zealand film the disturbed, gothic art form we know and often avoid. There are hardly any women in Lord of the Rings and those there are are powerful, strange creatures who speak in scary voices, much like Jenny Shipley and Helen Clark. It's all white phallic towers, swords and spears on the surface. Beneath, in damp, subterranean caves, strange creatures are born. Could Gollum be more foetal? Freud would have a field day.

(5) Because, even though there are hardly any New Zealanders in anything but bit parts, Elijah "Frodo" Wood confessed to peeing in the Cuba Mall fountain after a big Wellington night out (if Martin Graham will forgive the contradiction in terms). Wood might be American but he's clearly a Kiwi bloke at heart.

(6) Because of the great scene where those scary Riders enter the town of Bree, squashing our own Martyn Sanderson under a door. Another veteran local movie man, Ian Mune, does even worse. He barely gets a line out before his head is lopped off. If Jackson is making a statement here about the local film industry, what it says is, "Outta the way, boys. Real movie coming through."

(7) For Jackson's obligatory cameo, glimpsed as the hobbits trudge into Bree. Perhaps the only actor in the film who needed no help from the makeup department, Jackson is the wild-haired loon who takes a swig of grog and belches into the camera. If Jackson is making a statement to his critics, it could well be, "Whatever. I'm laughing all the way to the bank."

(8) Because, unlike Once Were Warriors, no one in The Lord of the Rings cooks any f***ing eggs, although Hobbits Sam and Merry fry up some bacon, with almost as violent results.

(9) Because, despite what the cynics maintained, The Lord of the Rings couldn't have been made just anywhere. If its Middle-earth is just another version of England, so were we for years.

The lovely, blank, indifferent stare of our spirit-haunted landscape has inspired other good New Zealand movies, including Vigil, The Piano and anything starring Bruno Lawrence as yet another Kiwi bloke going bonkers on the road to nowhere (or, in the case of the great Smash Palace, on the road to Horopito).

By a happy coincidence of Tolkien and Peter Jackson's weird visions, The Lord of the Rings expresses the improbable, sinister, magical quality of the place as never before by populating it with improbable, sinister, magical creatures. Unlike most characters in New Zealand films, they look right at home.

I don't think it was corporate hype or free preview champagne that brought a tear of recognition to my eye as I watched. Just to be sure, I went to see it again in the cold light of day. It was still a bizarre but oddly touching version of home.

(10) Because the film's credits go on forever, lovingly naming what looks like half the country. That alone is enough to make The Lord of the Rings a New Zealand movie, at least in spirit. One with something so many other local movies lack - heart.

There was a lot of tut-tutting about the legitimacy and desirability of the tax breaks the film received. As far as I'm concerned, they can direct debit my taxes straight into Peter Jackson's account. So far, whatever it's cost, it's been money well spent.