Dialogue: Some free advice for the taxman

By ELIZABETH EASTHER

It's nearly tax time again.

March 31, the end of another financial year, and as ever, I'm reminded how much I hate making tax returns.

Still, in pursuit of good citizenship, I climb mountains of records; much like death you can't avoid tax forever.

Admittedly, I have been audited before.

It's not very pleasant to be raked with a fine-tooth comb and I think the experience scarred me. Paperwork for youth rate jobs I had had as a student had to be found and modest sums accounted for. Sure, I came out of it clean as a whistle, but it was suggested I register for GST.

Which I did, and what a time-consuming business. Receipts - I had to collect receipts for nearly everything I did.

The workings were quite complicated and, though I persevered and sussed it out, it really caused me stress. That is, until I realised the more I spent the more I got back. Is that the point of tax?

For nearly a year I laboured under the misconception that spending fed the economy and every two months, in appreciation, the IRD returned my money.

Receipts were like Fly Bys. I lived on GST. I loyally bought in New Zealand, paid tax on my purchases, then applied to get some of it back. I was counting coffees, in a week they add up; hanging out is a resting actor's performance.

Soon, however, my economic theory proved unsustainable. You can't live like that forever and, besides, the invoicing and declaring got too much.

Sometimes, in a month, I would have 17 employers and being self-employed, the paperwork felt like quite a waste of my most valuable resource time.

Much of my work is little one-off stuff, often requiring my services for only a couple of hours a year. The GST system meant I wouldn't even take some jobs, a half-day for maybe 50 bucks? Hardly worth it. Or, I would do some jobs free if the cause was good.

How about the assumption that you will be in the same earning bracket from one year to the next?

Some years I have done really well while in others I have barely covered costs, you cannot estimate this type of earning.

Where's PAYE when you need it?

Its not that I'm antitax. I've always been big on paying my way, propping up health, welfare and education but it's harder to cough up in good heart when you can't really see what you're getting.

I gave them the benefit of the doubt the other day and looked for my name on their website in the Unpaid Monies section. I was confident it had had too much of mine, ACC had, but no, the IRD didn't list me there.

And, considering what a loyal customer I am, you would think it would at least return my calls.

If you try to ring the IRD, everybody knows, you would be better off talking to yourself.

I once left three recorded messages requesting some forms to be sent out. It was getting close to penalty time and still no reply.

Finally, I rang and got a real person, explained why I was going to be late paying. Work it out on paper, I was told, send it in anyway or you will be penalised. No accounting for circumstances.

But it's not my fault, I told them, probably sounding quite petulant, it's not my fault. Still, the late penalty I would have incurred would not be waived.

If they are a little slow sending money back to me do you think I can charge penalties?

I'd be laughed out of court.

Perhaps, paying tax wouldn't be such a nightmare if it really was as easy as the IRD would have us believe.

Or maybe some of the sting would be salved if we had some idea of where our taxes actually went.

I'm all for lots of the things our taxes pay for like hospitals, schools and roads, MPs' out-of-town living allowances and parks.

What if we paid tax with some sense of where it was going? Might it make parting with the money any easier? certificates or deeds of title could be issued. Congratulations on your purchase of 3 sq m of State Highway 1 or well done, your contribution has helped reforest large tracts of national park.

You can sell anything if you market it properly, and you build brand loyalty if you value your customers.

Perhaps, if the IRD took some of my advice, its changes would be popular.