Dialogue: Prepare a CV to present at the pearly gates.

By JILL JAMIESON*

"Tell me something about your mother," invited the funeral officiant.

"Oh dear ... there's nothing much to say about poor old mum. She was just a housewife - didn't work at all."

"Oh, yes. Well, before she was married, what did she do?"

"She just left school and went straight on the farm, like her brothers."

"Milked the cows?"

"Nah, she helped her mother in the house."

Bit by bit, the funeral officiant managed to piece together enough to prepare a eulogy. But how much more interesting a personality she could have portrayed if her subject had left a few written details of her life.

We should all consider putting down on paper, or computer, particulars for that very last presentation in which we'll be involved. It will be of value for future genealogists, too.

When should we start? Once our parents have died. Until then, someone is around who will fondly remember all our accomplishments.

What's needed? Dates, of course. Important milestones. But impressions are so valuable. Perhaps the family were recent migrants. Any difficulties met in a new country are of interest. The economic climate of the time is important. If the family suffered in the Depression, mention it.

"We didn't have shoes to wear to school."

Schooling takes up the formative years. Any special subjects liked, any prizes won, any sporting achievements should be recorded. Then there are the out-of-school activities, cultural and sporting, that might have brought pleasure or acclaim.

Tertiary education where applicable.

Next, the career that was desired and, possibly, the occupation that had to be settled for.

How I met my husband, or wife, is always of particular interest. Then follows the birth of children - and any of their special accomplishments.

Any memorable event you've been involved in - "In 1968 Bob and I were on the Wahine when it went down. We were among those who were saved. It completely changed our lives. We appreciated life so much more."

List all the organisations you've belonged to, any offices you've held. And mention your hobbies.

When writing a short history of your life, it is the time to be generous to yourself. You can put down everything of which you are proud: "I was an outstanding tap dancer as a kid - won class after class at the Gisborne Competitions in the 1940s."

But it doesn't come easy, does it? We're meant to be modest. So, how about writing in the third person? A benevolent overview. Peter can then say of himself: "The Waikato coach said Peter was the best fullback in the country. He should have made the All Blacks, but a knee injury put paid to his chances."

Then, from someone else's point of view, it's possible to mention the compliments Brenda got: "Strangers used to say to Brenda, 'What a beautiful complexion you have - you must be English'."

Makes it easier, doesn't it?

Now, back to the beginning, writing in the third person, it reads like this:

"Shirley Rose Green was born at the Hawera maternity home on the same day as Ronald Hugh Morrieson. They shared a love of writing. In standard 2 Shirley won the essay prize. Ron came second. Ron went on to write kinky stories about the town. Shirley also made a name for herself. She became a long-time contributor to Over the Teacups under the pen-name of Shirlrose."

That way, writing that mini-biography gets to be fun.

Now, you're going to feel embarrassed writing nice things about yourself. But why? The accomplishments, the compliments, are an important part of what made you the way you are. Give yourself the pleasure of writing the benevolent overview. Then, if modesty is your most important characteristic, rewrite a modified version in the first person.

Now, how do we deal with life's black spots - the time spent in jail after the drink-driving accident, the teenage abortion?

Look at it like this: it's your CV for heaven. We need to gloss over some negatives.

But we do mention life's other tragedies: miscarriages, the death of a child - such devastating blows for a woman. And the parallel: failure to achieve some goal, the loss of a job - traumatic for a man.

Put down the good things that have happened and the sad things. But you don't have to confess all the bad things you've done.

Then you can be content that you've provided an interesting record to be used when the last tributes are paid.

* Jill Jamieson is a Manurewa writer.