Dialogue: Nowadays, the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, too

LINDA PORTER* ponders the lessons that Jamie Oliver's outrageous popularity with women may have for New Zealand men.

Jamie Oliver, aka The Naked Chef, has returned to our television screens and my guess is that his was a very welcome return for a large number of New Zealand women.

When he was here earlier in the year, talking about his culinary aims and achievements, women of all ages and backgrounds were all but falling at his sneakered feet.

Initially, Jamie struck me as a rather apprehensive, scruffy-looking youth. But the lad can cook, and he's incredibly, unabashedly passionate and enthusiastic about it.

He now has two hugely successful books and television series to his credit and has recently signed a £250,000 ($800,000) advertising deal with Sainsbury's, the giant British supermarket chain.

Watching him, you're immediately struck by his sensual relationship with food. It encompasses his senses of sight, smell, touch, taste and even hearing. It's a very appealing partnership.

And, speaking of partnerships, Jamie recently tied the knot with his childhood sweetheart, Juliette, a very attractive, part-time model. One can't help wondering if he promised "to love, honour, and cook, till death us do part." Lucky girl.

Apparently, he loved cooking even as a youngster at his parents' country pub and they encouraged his interest.

How many of us encourage our sons to cook?

Not too many, I would say, and the differing gender response to Jamie's on-screen antics speak volumes about that.

We women would like to encourage our young males, but we're apprehensive about it. It isn't part of our psyche.

Although roles have changed, the kitchen is still largely perceived to be a woman's domain, and television advertising constantly reinforces this.

Many women do their husbands, partners and sons a disservice by not actively encouraging their culinary participation because, when all is said and done, cooking is a survival skill, too.

We all need to eat, and many men, both young and old, find themselves living alone at sometime in their lives and almost totally unable to fend for themselves.

Because I'm certainly not alone in being enamoured of Jamie, it struck me that the average Kiwi bloke ought to sit up and take notice. So I tried to explain his appeal to the man in my life (who's always telling me how average he is).

Finally, he ventured: "Oh, so a man who cooks is sexy?"

"Yes," I replied. "But he has to do it well, and he has to do it with real passion."

"What about looks?" asked my man tentatively.

"No, it's not about looks," I decided. "It's about men who are interested in the things that we're interested in. That includes men with a flair for creating wonderful clothes or interior design [Donald Grant Sunderland immediately springs to mind] and men who love to style our hair and make-up."

Then I realised where all this was leading. "So I guess you could say that, in the end, it equates to being interested in us."

I hope that more New Zealand men will watch Jamie Oliver, be inspired, and take the appropriate action because a man who cooks is sexy.

But that doesn't just mean opening a can of baked beans, or occasionally presiding over a late-summer barbecue. The key factors are taking an interest, making an effort, experimenting and surprising.

Why is it that we don't think twice, when we're dining out in a restaurant, about the meal being planned, prepared and cooked by a man? In fact, we assume it has been, even expect it. We also probably assume it will be served by a woman. Why are our homes different? It's an anomaly, and it doesn't make sense.

Do you remember the urbane Graham Kerr, aka The Galloping Gourmet? He was one of the original TV chefs back in the 1970s. He set female hearts aflutter in no small way. He practised hedonism in a hurry, creating dishes overflowing with cream, butter, egg yolks and deep-fried fat.

Luckily for his heart, Kerr is a changed man these days. He's apparently very health-conscious and deeply committed to good, healthy cooking.

And who could forget the ebullient, over-the-top antics of Hudson and Halls? They were unobtainable, but every little old lady in the land wanted to mother them.

Today, we have Greg Heffernan. Greg's style is cool, calm and collected and as appealing as Jamie in a quieter, more reserved manner.

So guys, forget the perfume, flowers and chocolates. The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. Don't despair if you still think Pacific Rim cuisine means opening a tin of pineapple rings. Invest in a cookbook, and give it a try.

And remember: having a personal passion is definitely an appealing quality. It equates to a passion for life and living. To quote Jamie Oliver: "That's pukka. That's well pukka."

* Linda Porter is a Hamilton writer.