Dialogue: Join a school camp and relish the joys

Around this time of year there is always a flurry of activity as many schools send teams of young ones off to summer camp. And while some schools enjoy an oversubscription of parents eagerly awaiting their own campfire camaraderie, having exhausted the children with various outdoor pursuits, most schools have difficulty trying to encourage parents to sacrifice a couple of days out of their own diaries to play camp leader.

Certainly it is easier for some parents to take time off work than others, but the vast majority just lower their eyes and sit it out in silence, taking the "If I don't volunteer, someone else will" approach.

Many of the parents who work, arrogantly assume that housewives in unpaid employment not only have the time to do it but also probably relish the opportunity. Thus the burden usually falls on the same cluster of parental volunteers, a minority sect who see school involvement as a parental and social responsibility.

It's the same for fundraising events, which are now part of our day-to-day lives. Again it is usually left to a handful of stalwarts every time. Although these parents may indeed enjoy contributing, they have one small complaint - there is nothing more irksome than a non-volunteer criticising from the sidelines.

My friend has just been away at her son's camp and was exasperated when at the pre-camp briefing, non-volunteer parents were issuing specific instructions about their little darlings simply not being able to eat jacket potatoes and so forth.

Another friend was involved in an elaborate fundraising affair - a garden tour that raised tens of thousands of dollars. A rule of thumb emerged: the one expressing the most enthusiasm should be left to do it single-handed.

Close to the event, it became apparent that she was battling for house-and-garden tour market share with other schools. Imagine her surprise when another committee member suggested she should have been putting her efforts into a garage sale all along.

Playcentre is an admirable organisation centred on parental involvement. Parents teach, manage and play with the children in every set-up. Yet in one such set-up I know, out of 61 families the 12 administrative positions are shared among six people.

In these days of time-is-money, many prefer simply writing a cheque as a valid and welcome contribution. But this sort of chequebook involvement from afar misses the point and a huge opportunity in shaping our children's value systems.

How many parents are ruing the "no, you do it for me" attitude of their offspring as they rummage through school bags, laundry and messy rooms?

Don't we all want to know our children, understand their world and in some way be part of it? Don't we all need to know who their friends are and what they get up to?

And don't we all want to be role models for independent children with decent social skills?

Fundraising, schools camps and events are about contribution and a sense of community. It is a social responsibility we all have and one that cannot be delegated to someone else, like household chores. We need to share the burden.

Those who take it easy when their children are at camp might like to think of the other parents who are enjoying interacting with their kids. Contrary to what your children would have you believe, the kids whose parents take the time out to go to camp are often the envy of others.

"Ohhh, you're so coooool," said the little girlies, successfully boosting my friend's ego.

She was at camp not to hang around with her boys but to play a role in the periphery of their lives. After all, school is the environment in which they spend most of their time.

There is one school that seems particularly exemplary when it comes to a sense of community. That is the Michael Park School, which is often written off as for hippies only.

The strong sense of contribution and community rooted in the Steiner philosophy is brought to life every year at its annual fair, where every parent has a role as a fairy or a Robin of Sherwood or whatever they are assigned.

Many parents feel their energy and resources are continually siphoned out of them through continual letters home, requests to divert phone and electricity alliances, on top of expectations to fundraise for sports and extra-curricular activities.

They may be somewhat aggrieved that they are forking out cash constantly. Others might be claiming diplomatic immunity through over-committed schedules.

Meanwhile, someone still has to sizzle those sausages.