Dialogue: It's time to convince teens of the importance of life

By ELEANOR BLACK

Why are bright and promising teenagers jumping behind the wheel and killing themselves and their friends?

It is a question that stings the back of your throat and lies heavy in the pit of your stomach.

A string of horrifying accidents in the central North Island have highlighted a problem to which there is no obvious solution, and which poses a never-ending string of unanswerable questions for grieving parents.

Two weeks ago three popular and fun-loving teens were killed near Taupo when their car u-turned into the path of a truck loaded with wood chips. The black Honda CRX was pushed 80m along Broadlands Rd, leaving black skid marks that most people will, sadly, drive past without a second thought.

The driver was a 16-year-old on a restricted licence who should not have had any passengers unless he was accompanied by someone with a full licence - and who should have known better than to put his friends at risk.

Now Graeme Bignell is dead, his potential lost and his family devastated. The same is true for Natasha Jakschik and Sarah Anderson, both 15.

They will never know what it is like to graduate from university, dress for a black-tie occasion, see the South Pole, turn 21, have children, live in another country, get married, meet a movie star, buy a house, get a promotion, win Lotto, bury a parent, go skydiving, grow old.

Just eight days later at Reporoa, a 10-minute drive away from those skid marks, seven teens piled into a small car - with two passengers squeezed in the boot - for "a little ride." The 16-year-old driver was on a learner's licence, lost control and the car rolled.

She and her friends were lucky that the two passengers who were thrown out of the car came away with only minor injuries. I have no doubt her parents have been telling her that ever since.

And last Tuesday 14-year-old Charles Wall was killed when a car driven by another 14-year-old hit a tree near Edgecumbe. He was not wearing a seatbelt and speed was a factor in the accident.

Police are still investigating.

Clearly parents have an essential role to play in laying down rules for their children and making sure they abide by them. But I can't help thinking that sometimes a parent's best intentions can't protect a teen who is overcome by new-found independence and makes tragic, terrible decisions.

Adolescence is a dreadful time. Hormones are out of control, parental concern seems oppressive, impressing friends is vital, adults just don't seem to understand, the slightest embarrassment feels like the worst kind of shame and acne is a four-letter word.

It is a time when life doesn't always feel like an amazing opportunity and the future doesn't always look like an interesting surprise.

Leaping into a hatchback for a quick trip down the road with a friend who is abusing their licence sounds like a better night than sitting in front of Coronation Street with mum and dad. Risk is exciting.

Teenagers are clever. They wheedle and whine better than anyone else. And they know that their parents and older brothers and sisters got away with stunts like those they pull every day.

Their parents know it too, and guilt sometimes pushes them to make stupid decisions - like allowing their beloved child to climb into a car when they know the driver is not ready for the responsibility.

There has been a lot of talk about what the police should be doing to protect young lives - confiscating car keys, impounding vehicles, handing out bigger fines.

But I don't think punishment is the way to convince teens to take care of themselves. Rather, I believe parents and teens need to talk to each other about why life is worth living and why taking thoughtless risks in cars is the last thing a young person with 60 or 70 years ahead of him or her should do.

Teens who take the future for granted need to be convinced just how precious life is before they waste theirs.