Dialogue: Giving a new meaning to killing with kindness

Is chocolate egg-fixated conspicuous consumption making a mockery of the meaning of Easter? SUE CRAKE* thinks so.

First, let's get one thing straight: I'm not about to start snatching chocolate bunnies from the drooling mouths of innocent babes. But I do think it's time adults took one big step back and got some perspective here.

It's not the fact that hot-cross buns start hitting the shelves the moment the last Christmas cracker has been sold that is so disturbing. We all know marketing makes the world go round.

But you have to admit there's something slightly sinister about the sheer volume of animated chocolate that beckons as you enter any self-respecting supermarket.

Sure, the egg is a symbol of life and all that. And, at a stretch of the imagination, even rabbits get a paw in the door for being such prolific breeders.

But sheep and bears? It's pushing things beyond all logic - to the point where the original concept is lost in the morass of lurid chocolate cartoon characters.

And what about children of other faiths? Do their parents bravely clutch the hands of their screaming offspring and determinedly drag them past the mounds of cute chocolate characters?

Or do they wearily give in and allow their children to indulge in what they must regard as the annual pagan ritual of fixating on multicoloured edible idols?

Christianity must seem like a heaven on earth to children of other religious persuasions.

"Mum, please can I have an Easter egg?"

"No, sweetie. They're only for Christians."

"Wah, I wanna join the chocolate religion, too."

Worshipping chocolate is something to which most women relate, but it's a scary thought that today most children see the biggest benefit of a religion as being a sackful of gifts at Christmas and a gutsful of moulded milk, sugar and cocoa at Easter.

It's ironic that while Easter represents the ultimate in selflessness - Christ giving his life - we now celebrate it with the ultimate in conspicuous consumption. Not an ounce of denial in sight.

Let's face it: who still remembers the concept of giving up something for Lent, let alone does it?

When we were little, the average egg hunt garnered a frugal few eggs, followed by church. (And having been forced to sit through most of the three-hour Good Friday service, we piously felt we'd more than earned our treat.)

Today, Easter has largely lost any meaningful association and deteriorated into a gorgefest and boastful comparisons of who got bigger and better bunnies. Talking of which, just to whom would you present a foot-high chocolate rabbit? Certainly not the child for whom you foot the orthodontic bills, the woman trying to lose weight or the man with a cholesterol problem.

Perhaps it would make the ideal gift for someone you wished a coronary on. After all, few people can resist chocolate once they have the stuff. It brings a whole new meaning to killing with kindness.

I reckon that the marketers have missed a grand opportunity here. They should bring out all the leftover Christmas stock for "caring" people to buy instead of chocolates. Why give mere chocolate when you could give jewellery or a gym membership instead?

After all, the pressure to give gifts is one of the diseases of our age. How do you show love unless you buy it? And the bigger the price tag attached, clearly the more you care. It's a warped concept, but one we're so used to bowing to that we don't even question any more.

Which brings me back to the supermarket displays. They are positioned for maximum impact to taunt you - and shame you into stuffing your trolley with as much chocolate as you can't afford. Then afterwards we're racked with guilt as to whether we got too few eggs - or too many.

The sweet truth is that children just love the thrill of the chase, so if you have the time and the inclination you can always paint hard-boiled eggs for them to hunt. But anyone over knee-height will still demand their just chocolate desserts once they've collected the real hens' eggs.

Hopes are that by now you've finished paying off last year's Christmas presents, so you can play the Easter Bunny in style. But there's one final caveat: parents have to weigh up the advantages of giving their kids a memorable egg-hunt against the time and money they will spend cleaning chocolate vomit off the lounge suite.

* Sue Crake is an Auckland writer.