Dialogue: Boomers' babies have life sussed

A friend in his 40s, for whom I use to babysit, enjoys regaling tales of his now almost self-sufficient kids who are in their early 20s. One is in Edinburgh on the start of her OE and the other in the prime of his young adulthood living in the luxury of the family home.

Like most parents he boasts about their virtues, somewhat relieved that they have emerged from their teenage years intact. And like most parents he lives in the charmingly naive fantasy that his kids enjoy the same sort of fun he and his wife did in their "crazy" youth, turning a blind eye to clear signs indicating that his offspring may have taken things just a few steps further. That was until he received a misdirected e-mail from his daughter destined for his son which leaves him in a confused state somewhere between laughter and manic hysteria.

It opened "Hello my favourite boy" - a dead giveaway that he was not the intended recipient and then followed 20 lines capturing the essence of her OE escapades - "... had a bikkie and went to a club doing lines and drinking overproof rum till 7 am. Took a slight detour to the pub ... sat drinking jugs of Pimms and voddies all day ... local curry house ... got so pissed fell off his chair. Nearly got kicked out for being so obnoxious, wicked, awesome etc."

He later received the sanitised designed-for-parents version, just five lines of the "having-a-great-time, things-are-very-expensive-here, meeting-lots-of-new-people" variety.

The big OE. They say some things never change. Sowing your wild oats and only ever giving your parents half the story. This all happens before you supposedly buckle down and get serious. But the question is - will today's early 20-somethings follow this pattern set by their parents?

Baby boomers who pioneered the OE experience have been infamous for their liberal parenting. They are the Oil of Ulay-people-think-we-are-sisters generation who truly believe they are mates with their children. Boomers pride themselves on honest communications with their kids, leading to lame comments such as "look if he was doing that sort of thing he would certainly tell me," and "deep down I know they are sensible kids."

But deep down is a concern that their kids have had it all too easy and might never get serious. Modern-day boomer parents are caught in the crossfire of conflicting ideals.

Firstly there is their own upbringing - larger family groups meant hand-me-downs, splitting chores, little money and a tight code of discipline. And then their own parenting beliefs - a backlash against this because they don't want their kids "missing out" like they supposedly did.

Their methods were characterised by their Dr Spock beginnings , the "time out" disciplinary procedure, open forum discussions about sex and drugs, and kids' rights.

Their offspring have smelt the pot lingering from Mum and Dad's dinner party and have been allowed to let their boyfriends stay over. As a result they are confident, daring, adventurous, and definitely push the envelope a little further than Mum or Dad ever did.

They've been around before they've left home or even seen the country. They are street smart and savvy and while this makes parents happy, their dilemma is whether these kids are equipped with what it takes to survive long-term.

On one hand parents rabbit on about life being harder these days for young people and then complain about how good their kids get it on the other.

While boomers flew the coop at 18, their offspring find no compelling reason to - it's cheaper, better food, complimentary laundry service, unlimited freedom, access to better vehicles and excellent security.

Parents worry about their kids' general lack of responsibility and laissez-faire attitude which show no signs of abating. They worry over the "rude awakening" these kids will get one day when they find out how tough life really is, but one wonders if this day will indeed ever come. Parents provide a handy safety net well past their traditional use-by date, and their kids have the benefit of witnessing and learning through their parents hang-ups and mistakes - they already know what not to do.

They are adaptable, flexible and if things get awkward during their mid-life, by this time their baby-booming parents will be conveniently dying, leaving a nice hard-earned nest egg that was originally intended to tide them over in retirement. Good old Mum and Dad.