Dialogue: Beware the cult of hard-sell tactics

By SANDY BURGHAM

"Hey, you two wanna make some money? I've got an exciting business proposal to share with you ..." Our hearts sank. Surely Donald, our friendly electrician who was over doing a job, couldn't be using this as an opportunity to do the unthinkable - push Amway?

After an uncomfortable pause, he burst into laughter. It was a joke. Good one, Donald.

We all need to find our own path to the end of the rainbow. Today, we are constantly reminded of our predicted poverty in retirement and driven by the need to have more money than our parents. Maybe it is just plain greed. Whatever, it seems that although the brand is riddled with innuendo and unpopularity, Amway thrives.

It makes sense on the surface. Despite being a low priority, people need dishwashing liquid and the like, so why not sell it to your friends, clip the ticket on the way through and everyone wins. It's a no-brainer.

Sounds good but it's unfortunate that followers of this principle seem to become evangelical cult members who invade our personal space.

Remember the old film Invasion of the Body Snatchers? You have no idea that your closest friends and family members have been taken until they unexpectedly corner you.

Horror stories abound. An acquaintance had to suffer the embar-rassment of his wedding guests being "followed up" by a close relative of his a few days after the reception. Another was hit on in a lift on the way to a dental appointment - by his dentist.

Admittedly, I used to pretend I was selling Amway to extricate myself from conversations with bores at parties and once used the line, "Do you want to see my marketing plan?" during a romantic excursion to drive away another couple from an otherwise deserted beach.

I admire self-motivation and firmly believe that we should take responsi-bility for own livelihoods rather than relying on the Government or anyone else. So what is stopping people like me signing up?

Many say it is the parasitic method to the Amway madness that irks. Something about every person who walks past becoming a business opportunity, the water being tested even in the most tenuous of relationships.

Then there's the dishonesty of Amway groupies taking people for a ride, yet not revealing their true identity until the second or third date. (If I knew who you were, I would never have gone out with you.)

But maybe there's another reason. We crave control over our lives and deny the reality that, indeed, we are all part of the mass market. We see ourselves as strong individuals who wouldn't sell our principles to a blatant marketer. It's an affront that someone overtly wants to make money out of us, obliging us to be part of a huge network, just another cog in a well-oiled machine.

Few want to admit to being helpless prey to big brother or part of a mass culture or driven by money. And that's the fatal flaw in the Amway brand. It makes us realise we are part of that mass market, ripe for exploitation.

While it is probably doing very well and delivering satisfactory products, it seems that the brand has had to go underground to survive and prosper.

Rumour has it that it operates under various guises, including a proposed Web-based company, because the name Amway sends many running to the hills.

My sources tell me to beware of the latest come-on lines about "securing your children's future" and "making money on the Web." Very smart. Targeting both Achilles heels at once.

I'm sure the Amway converts reading this won't take offence because their brand seems to have thrived on the principle that even bad publicity is good publicity. It's one brand that defies the theory of bad word-of- mouth.

In my job, I operate deep within the world of marketing and some would say my distaste for Amway is hypocritical. And indeed it is. Behind every brand there's a profit objective - only it's a large multinational corporation, rather than the otherwise sincere neighbour, who benefits. And who would you rather see get rich?

But still I'm impervious to Amway's method of making money while I sleep. It's all a matter of taste. As I said to an Amway pusher who failed to convert me, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't be seen wearing the T-shirt."