Dialogue: Abuse of children evil beyond belief

I found myself deeply troubled at the weekend after having to force myself to read the horrific stories of the brutal, tortured, pain-racked death of little Hinewaoriki. They gave a new meaning to the words of the 17th-century English philosopher Thomas Hobbes that life is " ... nasty, brutish and short." In toddler Hine's case, short was just 23 months.

What with the previous weekend's regurgitation of the brutalising of the newborn baby in Napier and the deaths of little James Whakaruru and, earlier, an 8-year-old Christchurch lass, I found myself by turns disbelieving, despairing, sickened, angry, frustrated and bewildered that such a thing could happen to a defenceless tot - the cigarette burns, the scalds, the bruises, the sexual interference.

I tried to find comfort in knowing that every child who dies, no matter by what means, is now with the Lord in paradise, where "God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying, and there shall be no more pain ... "

But that didn't help, for I began to wonder why on earth God hadn't stepped in a bit earlier and stopped these dreadful things from happening in the first place. That was no help either, for there is no answer to the enigmas of pain and suffering, which have baffled even the most brilliant philosophers for 2000 years.

What did lift my depression happened on Saturday night when my wife and I went to one of our favourite local restaurants for dinner, which we do quite regularly when we have no guests and can't be bothered cooking for ourselves.

We were sitting there still trying to work out how such a thing could happen to a child in New Zealand in the year 2000 when into the restaurant came dad, mum and a lovely little blond-haired, blue-eyed tot about the same age as Hine.

Dad fixed the little one firmly in the high chair provided and they ordered their drinks and their meal. The little one had a brightly coloured drink, a hot dog and chips, most of which ended up on the floor, while dad and mum were hard put to have theirs as she who sat queenly at the head of the table constantly demanded attention.

Dad and mum would surely have loved to have enjoyed their meals in peace, but not once was a voice raised, let alone a hand, not once was a threatening word said. And as they all enjoyed themselves hugely, it gradually dawned on me that here I was seeing family life as it should be and, indeed, is in hundreds of thousands of New Zealand homes.

I reflected on our beloved godsons, now 9 and 7, and on how their parents happily sacrifice time, energy and money to ensure that they are well-housed, well-fed, well-clothed, well-educated and healthy and given every opportunity to enjoy childhood - soccer, ice skating, trips to beaches and parks, museums and movies - and how secure they are in the deep and abiding love that permeates their home.

And the same, I thought, applies to my neighbours, whose young children want for nothing and who, too, are given all they need in love, security, provision and opportunity to make childhood a precious and memorable time and a sound preparation for whatever the future may bring.

Given their start in life, these are all children of whom you will probably never hear. They will likely do well at school, find jobs, get married, raise children of their own and be useful, law-abiding contributors to community life as their parents have before them.

And they are replicated by their tens of thousands throughout New Zealand.

It is all too easy to despair at the dreadful stories we hear of the abuse of little children and to forget that for every one of them there are thousands who do not suffer so and who never will, save for the trials and tribulations which are as much part of life as its joys and achievements.

That is not to say that child abuse is acceptable or that it should be allowed to happen to even one child. But it is no use the politicians and pontificators blaming poverty or culture or lack of education for what seems to have become an epidemic.

The person who so far has got closest to the guts of the matter is June Sunkel, director of the Salvation Army's Bethany Centre, who points to the deeply flawed and dangerous ideology that governs the thinking and actions of the staff of Child, Youth and Family Services under the equally deeply flawed Children, Young Persons and Their Families Act. That piece of misguided legislation must be revisited - and quickly.

For child abuse is not an aberration, a social problem, a crime - it is a malignant evil, a deep-seated spiritual malady fed by the sort of Godless, immoral, undisciplined, corrupt and mercenary society we have allowed ourselves to become.

* garth_george@herald.co.nz