Deborah Hill Cone: Politicians miss the mark with their soulless promises of utopia

Photo / Rod Emmerson

I am obsessed with a local TV programme called This Is Not My Life. It is set in a fictional town called Waimoana. It is meant to be a sort of utopia.

Everything is clean and white and minimalist and tidy. It is a well-planned and environmentally friendly sort of place where everything runs efficiently, people ride bikes and recycle, no one litters and everyone is cheerful in their creepy pastel-coloured designer tracksuits.

"Morena", they greet each other every morning, and they only drive their cars as long as they have carbon credits.

Not that anyone complains: they are all freakishly cheerful, like aliens.

There are over-bearing sinister authorities such as the Department of Wellness, which makes sure everyone is perky, and the Department of Personal Security, which gets rid of subversives who don't want to wear pastel-coloured designer tracksuits.

The show is shot in the upmarket beach resort of Omaha but I think a lot of our Auckland local body politicians would feel quite at home in Waimoana.

It is the sort of place they dream of creating. Efficient, tidy, functional, bossy. Just take a look at some of the Huxley-ish slogans on our politicians' billboards.

"The Best Choice for the Future". "For People. Not Politics." (Don't you find someone who describes himself or herself as a "people person" is inevitably a soulless knob?) "A proven leader for real action."

They sound like aliens. They certainly seem to be very out of touch with the Aucklanders I talk to.

When I ask people what they think about the Super City elections, they don't talk about "modern thinking" or "lets make our region succeed" or even about rates and rubbish collection.

They talk about completely different things. They want to live somewhere human-sized and villagey, even if it is part of a big city.

They care about living somewhere where their 'hood has a bit of a personality and a good vibe - a Franklin-Rd-Christmas-lights kind of place.

They want to live somewhere where people notice things and have some connection to each other. In short, that they don't live in functional but heartless Waimoana.

They would prefer a bit of rumptiness if it came with some friendliness and comfort and warmth.

They want trees and markets and old stuff and something that feels real. People know we need sewerage and transport - surely all the candidates agree the rubbish still needs to be collected - but that isn't what matters to most to them.

Of course, it is possible I know only snobby trendsters out of touch with working-class people. But is community really an indulgence?

Working-class battlers in Clendon and Mangere possibly care even more about their community having a good vibe.

And if they are renting a house, the importance of rates rises is not as immediately apparent. Of course, some of the politicians do drop the magic word "community" into their spiel every five seconds.

Strangely, this doesn't make me think they really understand communities.

It is like people who say they have a "great sense of humour" - they are inevitably soulless knobs.

Of all the billboards I saw, the least alien one was John Banks'.

At least he had a meaningful proposition - no weasel words like "independent voice" or "fresh perspective" - just "Keeping Rates Down".

No one can argue with that.

But I imagine the rates are very low in Waimoana, and I don't want to live there.