NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

<i>Deborah Coddington:</i> With age comes wisdom, calm and inappropriateness

Herald on Sunday
9 Jan, 2010 03:00 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

<i>Coronation Street</i>&#39;s Bet Lynch had no &#39;age appropriate&#39; concerns. Photo / Supplied

<i>Coronation Street</i>&#39;s Bet Lynch had no &#39;age appropriate&#39; concerns. Photo / Supplied

Opinion by

Whenever we Kiwis strive to excel at anything, there's always an armchair critic waiting to snipe, says Deborah Coddington.

In this decade I shall become a superannuitant, and next month I'm but a whisper away from another big birthday. That I plan to celebrate in enormous style. No coy denial of the big Six Oh for me. Already we seek a capacious venue where friends, champagne, fun, and food will mix.

Funny thing is, I don't feel old until physical work around the vineyard defeats me and I realise my arms, once strong enough to haul thoroughbred horses to a standstill, are growing scrawnily weak. I blame my medication, of course.

A journalist friend, young enough to be my daughter, modelled what she deemed her "age inappropriate" dress on Facebook. Oh, the cruelty of youth, innocently flaunting such loveliness in the ravaged face of ageing hacks like me. At least we can comfort ourselves that one day she, too, will look back and realise that 42 is not, in this day, too old to wear a strapless black dress.

And what, exactly, is "age inappropriate"? I found it very difficult to take this comment frivolously, having just attended the funeral of an even younger journalist, Helen Bain, former press gallery member, Dominion Post feature writer, John Tamihere's press secretary and biographer, and at the time of her death, communications manager for Forest and Bird. Three months past her 38th birthday, Helen was killed crossing a swollen Wairarapa river on her horse. She touched the lives of many, as was evident at the overflowing service.

We often spoke of going riding together. One day, she said, she'd bring Evo to Martinborough and we'd take our horses over the hills and river flats. Helen had the perfect life; her death, too soon, was age inappropriate.

All the things we mean to do, and then suddenly it's too late.

The day before Helen went, noted Wellington publisher and lovely man, Hugh Price, shuffled off this mortal coil, aged 80. I still have his email with an invitation to visit and discuss a book I'm researching: "I have a few suggestions - do you ever come to Wellington with time to call on us? A conversation could be more comical than an exchange of letters! Cheers!! HUGH PRICE".

I procrastinated too long. Now the lines from Herrick's Gather Ye Rosebuds haunt me, but I doubt I'll manage to cram more into my haphazard life.

But despite the disadvantages, there are wry comforts in seniority. A new book enjoying success purveys grandmothers' hints. I am not a grandmother, but advice given, for example, on baby care, was everyday practice when I had my kids.

Without the luxury (or not) of disposable nappies, babies were always held "out" or on a potty after a feed (breast, in private of course), then left bare-bum to roll around and kick. These days you'd think mothers had reinvented the wheel.

And yes, you do mellow as you age - or is it just happiness that stops me from "going into orbit at the drop of a hat", as Lindsay Perigo used to call it?

Thankfully, I'm too old to care that a good friend is not speaking to me because I offended his ego in a story I wrote for these pages a few weeks ago.

But before I'm completely senile, I must buy Mike Dillon's book on Lisa Cropp, and re-learn journalism at the feet of the master.

At my age, you grow resigned to the fact whatever you do, it's never good enough. There's always an armchair critic who can do the job much better, if only you'd step aside and give them a shot, especially when it comes to writing a column, editing a newspaper, or - especially - hosting a talkback show.

Sit behind a microphone with 20 minutes until the ad break, no phone lines lighting up, and you'll know the true terror of running a talkback programme.

New Zealanders will always proffer negative feedback rather than positive. It's the way we are - why we like black, and drink ourselves into oblivion.

It's why a beautiful 42-year-old woman thinks it's age inappropriate to wear a sexy black dress.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY

Discover more

Opinion

What is unique about Kiwi women?

16 Dec 07:15 PM
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

Serious injuries in BoP crash, road closed

New Zealand

GDT: Prices up, but cheddar slumps

Premium
New Zealand
|Updated

'Hiding from the council': Rotorua's secret pod shelter for homeless


Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Serious injuries in BoP crash, road closed
New Zealand

Serious injuries in BoP crash, road closed

“Police asks motorists to avoid the area.”

15 Jul 09:32 PM
GDT: Prices up, but cheddar slumps
New Zealand

GDT: Prices up, but cheddar slumps

15 Jul 09:30 PM
Premium
Premium
'Hiding from the council': Rotorua's secret pod shelter for homeless
New Zealand
|Updated

'Hiding from the council': Rotorua's secret pod shelter for homeless

15 Jul 09:20 PM


Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky
Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

06 Jul 09:47 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP