Deborah Coddington: Skulduggery of a dungbeetle

Every political party has its scarab dungbeetle. Dung scarabs roll up balls of faeces and eat it. They also live inside balls of dung and will eat other scarabs, including their eggs, in order to survive.

During the past 12 months, personal emails and faxes to National Party leader Don Brash have been drip-fed to the media. At Prime Minister Helen Clark's post-cabinet press conference last week, she hinted that someone had a bookful of emails which would soon see the light of day. That was followed by a week of appalling allegations and innuendoes in the House at question time.

On Tuesday last week, National's lowest-ranked MP, Brian Connell, raised allegations in caucus about Brash's private life. This was leaked to the press gallery, and the next day Brash was pressured into releasing a statement saying he was taking time out to rescue his marriage. Thus, the media were given the opportunity to write stories about what had, until then, been mere rumour.

The police have been asked to investigate the burglary of Brash's computer and office to find the culprit, if they can.

All forensics will lead to National's scarab beetle. Why would he undertake such skulduggery which hurts his own party? He, and I very much doubt it is a she, will be an MP who desperately wants to be leader. He will have other minor MPs helping him, not because they anticipate a reward but just because they can, and because they've fallen out with the current leader. He will quite probably have taken advice from an MP outside National, to whom Brash has been a threat, for this drawn-out imbroglio is covered in the fingerprints of an experienced scarab who's done it all before.

But, back to the scarab.

He is someone who has realised, and is deeply disappointed, that he has no hope of taking the leadership on his merits and talents. He can't convince enough of his caucus to vote for him, so he has to arrive at his destination via a circuitous and cunningly devised route.

So, first, roll up the dung. It's not enough to gather dirt on the current leader; the scarab must also take out any other high-flying MPs who've been tipped to be leader. Thus, John Key is implicated, apparently, in the emails over his alleged communication with the Exclusive Brethren, who actually visited many MPs, including Act, before the last election.

The scarab won't have worked alone. He might have hired a private investigator (PI), had his targets tailed, even bugged. Of course, the PI would not have been directly contracted by the scarab. This pretender is too clever for that. Go-betweens, probably constituents the MP has helped and who will gratefully do anything to see their saviour installed as leader, will be happy doing the groundwork.

But when candidates put their names forward for selection, aren't they asked to declare anything which could embarrass their party? Criminal convictions past or pending?

Yes, but that doesn't stop the scarab. He will be looking for dirt on family members, and up until the last Parliament, dragging an MP's family into the debate was pretty much off-limits.

When I completed my form to stand for Act, I declared I was facing prosecution from the Auckland City Council for not having my swimming pool properly fenced.

I had wanted to fight this stupid law on principle, but in the interest of politics, I complied with the Swimming Pool Act.

This form was later leaked by someone in Act to a reporter who wanted to know why I hadn't given the party my former partner Alister Taylor's history.

I'd barely recovered from the negative headlines over the Taylor publishing scandal, when information about Roger Kerr outside the Backbencher Pub was leaked to media, and the stinky stuff hit the air-conditioning all over again.

I doubt my personal life would have made headlines if I hadn't been tipped by media to succeed Richard Prebble as leader sometime in the distant future - the kiss of death in politics. I was certainly no threat to Labour - why would they want me marginalised? But the scarab did a good job - it's difficult to carry on when you're repeatedly knocked over with dung balls, and the hurt it causes an MP's family is incalculable.

So I think it's no coincidence that these emails have resurfaced just when Brash is finally making a good fist of leading his party. Sure, it's been convenient for Labour to use them as a distraction from its own scandals, but somewhere in National's labyrinthine offices, the scarab is gleefully watching these developments and counting the days - and caucus votes - until he becomes leader.

What political dungbeetles should remember, however, is that the scarab's lifespan is short. After rolling up balls of shit all their lives, they sink into their own stink and die.