KEY POINTS:
I despair about New Zealand's child abuse problem. Who can make a difference if those responsible won't? The media has tried: Rosemary McLeod, Lesley Max, Carroll du Chateau, Pamela Stirling, David McLoughlin, Robyn Langwell - incensed by details about well-known cases such as Chris and Cru Kahui, Craig Manukau, Delcelia Witika, Hinewaoriki Karaitiana-Matiaha (I refuse to call her Lillybing), almost 2, who sat clinging to the toilet for three hours so she wouldn't fall in and whose vaginal injuries alone would have killed her.
As in the case of Nia Glassie, neighbours and whanau chose not to do anything. In February 1999, I wrote the North & South story on the death of James Whakaruru, who also became a household name.
This 4-year-old was beaten to death over an Easter holiday by his mother's boyfriend, Benny Haerewa, a man who had already been jailed for beating James.
Despite the best attempts of lawyers and the Family Court, James' mother was allowed to keep him when she went back to live with Haerewa. Without James she lost her benefit and her house, yet she cooked dinner in the next room while her son was punched, kicked, stomped on and killed.
There are others, less well-known, whose deaths were no less appalling:
Kelly Ray McRoberts was 6 when he soiled his pants. His father savagely beat him with a stick and locked him in a sleepout for 48 hours in winter with no heating. With more than 60 bruises and internal injuries, his brain haemorrhaged and he died alone.
Marcus Grey, 2 months old. He cried, as babies do. His father bit him, bashed him, threw him, rubbed him on the ground, and cut him. He took four days to die.
Veronica Marie Takerei-Mahu, 11 months old. Sick with flu, she was "difficult to look after". Her father beat her tiny body so badly that doctors switched off life support.
Nivek Dodunski, 17 months. He cried, so was killed by his mother's partner. Nivek was thrown against a wall because he needed some "toughening up", and punched so hard that his liver was split in two.
Then there is the story of Tishena Crossland. The 2-year-old was beaten with a belt by her father because she refused to eat her breakfast of leftover stew. Tishena was thrashed during the day to keep her awake so she'd sleep at night. Her bed was a plastic sheet in the hallway.
Her mother told the Hamilton High Court about a trip to Auckland from the Waikato. Tishena was misbehaving in the car: "We took her down a dead-end road ... she was taken out of the car and left there ... we drove off ... she was running after the car." This child survived another two weeks of hell, including a split vagina, before her father finally killed her.
These are the last moments of their short lives, but you all know where their deaths began. They began with their births, into the homes of people who should never have children.
But who has the guts to stand up and say that? Just two mayors - Wanganui's Michael Laws and Bob Harvey from Waitakere. At the opening of the Every Child Counts conference in Wellington this year, Harvey said: "Enough is enough. We have to toughen up and say some people right now are just not fit to be parents ... some children should not actually be allowed to go home. Doctors, nurses and midwives can tell, they know as soon as that baby is taken out the door it will go into a home of neglect and dysfunction."
He blamed, in part, the Privacy Act which "stops us sharing information. We need to think carefully about whether our laws are putting individuals' civil liberties ahead of the welfare of our children".
Harvey's right. Health agencies can't even share information about children at risk, let alone pass warnings to other organisations charged with protecting kids.
Look at the common denominators - mothers with litters from various men, and who pay less mind to their offspring than sows care about their farrow. Booze, cannabis, partying while children slowly die in filthy bedrooms, boyfriends protected by manipulative mothers. Family members blaming each other, shedding tears only when sentenced to jail.
We ban from business company directors who repeatedly display reckless disregard for financial management, but we won't implement the obvious - if violent parents insist on breeding, their babies should be removed and raised far, far away from their influence. Last week we heard, yet again, calls for society to own this problem. I'm sorry, I don't own it. One morning at Masterton Hospital's carpark I watched toddlers wander among reversing cars. I asked a man to please watch his three littlies as I backed my wagon out of the park, and was sworn at for my efforts.
So I give up. I salute those who try to save children from cruel or uncaring parents, but New Zealand culture doesn't treasure children.
We care more about leaky homes, carbon emissions and finance companies. Kids come easy.
