Brian Rudman: Violence grows when good people cop out

On Saturday, the 1st XV rugby teams of Auckland Grammar and Kelston Boys had an all-in brawl following their match, joined by assorted members of the 2500 crowd, and what do the headmasters say?

Auckland Grammar's John Morris blames a Kelston boy for starting it and says none of his players would be punished. Kelston's Steve Watt at least said he would punish any of his students identified with starting the fight, but then added the amazing excuse that "it was an ugly incident but it is something that is part of society".

At the risk of sounding precious, what about the Jesuit educators' old truism about giving them the child and they'll maketh the man. Isn't that one of the roles we hire headmasters to perform? To give kids in their care, proper guidance about what is acceptable behaviour.

For the Auckland Grammar headmaster to wipe his hands of thuggish behaviour by his top sporting team because the other side started it is hardly inculcating good values in the boy-man.

And Mr Watt is hardly doing much better by throwing in the towel and blaming the free-for-all fight on society. I suspect it's not an excuse he'd condone for non-sporting miscreants brought before him for brawling in the playground or for smoking behind the bikesheds - if such things still exist.

This wasn't a play fight. It went on for five minutes and left one player unconscious. The educators charged with moulding the citizens of tomorrow are surely admitting defeat by looking the other way or dismissing it as just "part of society".

If kids can get away with the bash on the rugby field, what lesson is that to carry out into the wider world where life isn't always fair - or easy either?

If "it's not all right" to settle disputes with your partner with a fist, then why do we put up with kids whacking away on the rugby field.

Mr Morris took a strong stand against violence this time a year ago, when Mt Albert Grammar's top soccer coach, Kevin Fallon, allegedly "man-handled" an Auckland Grammar player in a ruckus after a bad tackle. Auckland Grammar withdrew its team from another match against Mt Albert the following week in a protest over the brawl. This time around, Mr Morris has adopted the Nelsonian approach instead, applying his telescope firmly to his blind eye.

Just up the road from Auckland Grammar rugby fields where the brawl took place, paediatricians at the Starship hospital are launching a pilot programme to educate every new parent in the Auckland region of the dangers of "shaking" new babies.

Starship research revealed by yesterday's Herald on Sunday shows the number of babies under 2 with "inflicted traumatic brain injury" has risen greatly over the past 20 years. In 1988, there was one case a year. Now it's one a month. Paediatrician Patrick Kelly said the Starship normally had several children at any one time being treated for serious abuse injuries. Where, you wonder, did parents learn it was okay to smack and beat their kids?

In the Starship project, every parent will be told, a few days after birth, of the perils of shaking a baby. Importantly, they will have to sign a form acknowledging the discussion.

In the United States, the programme has reduced abuse of young children by 40 per cent.

It looks like the Government should be funding a similar programme for sports coaches and teachers. Getting them to sign up to acknowledging that fisticuffs are not all right at any stage of life - and that as educators, they have a special role to play.

Of course, it is an uphill battle. In my ignorance, I would have thought that getting the message out about not shaking babies would have been a priority of any health minister. But no. Even now, there's only government money for a pilot study in Auckland.

It seems spending $9 million on a ridiculous referendum trying to bully legislators to legalise the whacking of children as part of good parenting has higher priority.

Last week, two acts of alleged child abuse in Northland hit the headlines. A 2-year old ended up dead in the Starship and a 17-month-old was severely injured.

It might, to borrow Mr Watt's explanation, be part of our society. But is that an excuse for sitting back and doing nothing?