Brian Rudman: Two cheers for Wellywood - they're welcome to their wannabe sign

As everyone else seems to be offering an alternative to the capital's planned "WELLYWOOD" sign, could I suggest the most accurate slogan for Wellington's film industry would be "NUMBER TWO".

Not only would it save the citizens from a costly lawsuit from the American film capital's attorneys. It would also be a genuflection to the truth.

Over the years, the rest of the country has become accustomed to the Cook Strait village try-hards making out they're better at just about everything than the rest of us.

If they're not kidding themselves they're the capital of culture, they are trying to convince the world they're New Zealand's events capital, its fashion capital, its earthquake capital, its architecture capital - the list is endless.

They're so desperate to be better than Auckland that a few years back, Mayor Mark Blumsky's council paid the Government-owned MetService $100,000 to shift the temperature gauge used to provide forecast material for television news to a warmer spot.

Mr Blumsky proposed the thermometer be shifted to the sheltered micro-climate on the lawn in front of the Michael Fowler Centre, a spot rival forecasters claimed was about 1.5C warmer than the traditional, more exposed airport and Kelburn hills sites.

We Aucklanders sighed rather pityingly, and resisted the temptation to shift our thermometer across to Waiheke where the average temperature is 3C warmer than the rest of Auckland.

In recent years, Wellington's focus seems to be on selling itself as the Hollywood of the South Seas, riding in on the coat tails of film fantasist extraordinaire Sir Peter Jackson and Weta Workshop. But at the risk of popping their make-believe bubble, it isn't true.

Statistics New Zealand's Screen Industry Survey 2007-2008 underlines that whatever measure you use, the Wellington-based film industry is dwarfed by Auckland's, and has been for years. For example, in 2008, of the country's 2223 screen industry businesses, 55 per cent (1212) were in Auckland against Wellington's 29 per cent (648).

Nationally, the gross revenue from production and post-production for the screen industry totalled $1.266 billion, of which $878 million fed directly into the Auckland economy.

For screen production company expenditure alone, Wellington-based Statistics New Zealand does try to give the local industry a boost, trumpeting that "expenditure in Wellington more than doubled from $128 million in 2007 to $285 million in 2008". You have to go to the small print to find that the Auckland spend was $491 million, out of a national spend of $875 million.

In other words, whichever way you look at it, if any city has a right to brag about being New Zealand's capital of film, then it's not Wellington. Though if this title means having to erect a wannabe Hollywood sign by the city airport, then I can't think of any self-respecting community likely to challenge Wellington.

Mayor Kerry Prendergast says it will be a great way to welcome visitors. Local hero Peter Jackson was quoted in the local paper as "thrilled that Wellington Airport were paying tribute to Kiwi craftsmen and women who created the movie magic that entertains all corners of our planet".

However, his spokesman also claimed it was meant to be a "send-up". That's the line Wellington Airport chief executive Steve Fitzgerald has adopted also, calling it a "tongue-in-cheek play" on the Hollywood sign.

The question the rest of the country - with many embarrassed Wellingtonians - is asking is: a send-up of whom? And whose tongue was in whose cheek when the airport company and the Wellington City Council thought it would be a merry jape to make this the first glimpse of New Zealand and its capital that incoming tourists and dignitaries would get.

On the spectrum of stunning first sights, running from the Eiffel Tower and Auckland volcanoes at the sublime end through to Ohakune's giant carrot at the "cor blimey" end, Wellington seems well on course to supplant the carrot. Go Number Two.