Premature mid-winter madness seems to have afflicted the Auckland body politic. For weeks now, politicians - both the real sort and those disguised as business lobbyists - have been queueing up to taunt the Auckland Regional Council.
Finance Minister Michael Cullen was first up, daring councillors to put the rates up if they really wanted a decent public transport system. Once he made the slagging respectable, it became open season.
The regional councillors were still smarting from Dr Cullen's unexpected kick in the goolies, when in went the steel-capped boots of assorted mayors and special-interest frontmen.
The message from all was the same. "Auckland needs to revive its pathetic passenger transport system, but don't for a moment think we're mugs enough to pay for it. No way. Put up the regional rates and risk your own careers instead. If you don't, you're a bunch of sissies."
Wednesday's assault from the landlords' mouthpiece Connal Townsend was a doozy. Without a rates rise to bankroll the public transport programme, Auckland's central business district would die. And that would be a calamity because "so many of our members' investments are wrapped up in Auckland".
However, while arguing for the general rate to go up, Mr Townsend, the property council's national director, argued for a drop in the 1.6 differential that businesses have to pay. It seemed a mixed message from someone preaching imminent ruin for his members if the extra spend on public transport did not happen.
What he didn't pass around was the jubilant press statement he issued two months before, skiting that things had never been better for his members. "Returns from investing in New Zealand commercial property have reached an all-time high," crowed Mr Townsend.
In the year to Decemeber 2005, Auckland industrial return was 24.39 per cent and Auckland CBD office sector return was 15.99 per cent.
In other words, his members were rolling in it.
But think the fat cats might offer to pay a little more in compensation to the general community for the cost of the public infrastructure which helped them reap their windfalls? Silly me. That's not how you get rich.
The back-biting from the mayors was to be expected. Why not try to bully a rival into committing political suicide and putting up its rates.
As for Dr Cullen, it's as though he's decided to have a few months of sadistic pleasure Auckland-baiting, before he's retired off to Ottawa or London as High Commissioner.
Not content with pouring buckets of cold water on Auckland's plans for an electrified train service, Dr Cullen now seems ready to throw our whole train set out of the cot, whether it be electric, diesel or wind-up.
A week ago, during parliamentary question time, Dr Cullen dismissed the idea of an Auckland rail network modelled on Perth's highly successful system. "Auckland has two rail lines with no real prospect of any further rail lines being built other than the two that are there. Therefore, Auckland cannot build a metro network to service the entire Auckland area ... "
A week later, in avoiding a question from Green MP Keith Locke about the failure to reopen the Onehunga line, Dr Cullen said: "Auckland does not have a metro rail network and it would now be impossible to build a metro rail network in Auckland because it would require tunnelling the entire network that would have to be provided."
Has this man ever set foot in Auckland? Our existing commuter rail network is 200km long - similar in length to Wellington's Metro service. It stretches from Waitakere in the north to Pukekohe in the south. It has 39 stations. In March it carried 545,000 passengers, a 39.4 per cent increase on the same month last year.
If Dr Cullen can't keep up, he should hand over to someone who can.
The irony is, the $700 million shortfall over the next 10 years that everyone is sparring over relates, in large part, to the cost of electrifying the Auckland rail system.
Dr Cullen has already vetoed that. So we don't need the money everyone's shouting about. Or the extra rates rise. Not until Dr Cullen goes - or changes his mind, at any rate.
<i>Brian Rudman:</i> Tunnel vision dims debate on funding transport
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