As one of those still struggling to tell the difference between a luff and a lay-line, I find it hard to get too excited about the sailing side of the America's Cup. It's the onshore intrigue, spying and cheating that tickle my fancy.
So I'm more than a little put out that when this week's bad boys from OneWorld Challenge were made to parade their dirty laundry in the open, my colleague Helen Tunnah and other New Zealand journalists were banned from the proceedings.
Instead, when OneWorld went on trial for possessing Team New Zealand yacht designs, we had to make do with the second-hand reports from an American news agency, an Italian journalist with limited English, and a public relations flack from the Louis Vuitton bag empire - the sponsor of this round of the racing - who was keen to put a positive spin on the whole affair.
Even more upsetting is the fact that Team New Zealand, who expect our undying loyalty in the defender series, endorsed the ban on New Zealand journalists.
The official excuse was a lack of space in the hearing room at Auckland's exclusive Northern Club. But if this was really true, why didn't they hire a bigger room? Money surely wasn't the problem. On the first night of the hearing, Louis Vuitton spent about $1 million on a celebrity party at the Devonport dry dock.
And if that blow-out had left them a bit short of the readies, I'm sure if they'd asked nicely, the matelots would have thrown in their court-martial facilities as part of the deal. On Sunday it could have been transferred to the giant party tent and all of Auckland invited along for the sport.
Alternatively, if a tent didn't have sufficient gravitas to hear the tales of high treason that unfolded, had none of those involved heard of closed-circuit television?
This yacht race is a contest, after all, of technological wizardry. How hard would it have been to remove a couple of the onboard remote cameras used each race day to broadcast the action live to our television screens, and to set it up on land for the day.
Litigant Dennis Conner could have brought his set along. He has no further use for it since his heave-ho off the water.
It's ironic that after the punishment meted out to OneWorld, New York Yacht Club Commodore Charles A. Dana III declared his club, which had helped to bring the case, cared greatly for "the integrity of the America's Cup" and that "we have an obligation to make the event better".
Conducting a genuinely public trial would have been a good first step to doing that. Yet here we had the media of the host nation shut out of the action.
The people who made the decision were the organising committee made up of representatives of the nine challenging syndicates, in consultation with Team New Zealand and Louis Vuitton flack Marcus Hutchinson.
Even the official "host" media organisation, the NZPA, was refused entry. The edict was that the American agency would represent the United States and New Zealand, the Italian would cover it for Europe, and non-journalist Mr Hutchinson would supply the rest of the world.
Of course, Mr Hutchinson, his Louis Vuitton masters and the overseas syndicates don't have to worry about what the local media think of them.
Few of us can afford fancy handbags, and the yacht sponsors are overseas companies.
But the weekend's imperious high-handedness doesn't gel very well with Mr Dana III's wish to clean up the cup's image. It was also a two-fingered salute to a city and country which have done more, in recent years, to clean the cup's tarnished image and turn it into a genuinely international event than anyone else.
Auckland ratepayers have spent well over $120 million creating the Viaduct Harbour venue. Government money has also flowed. But in the end, we're just colourful natives providing a convenient venue for big boys' games who are expected to scatter into the shadows when shooed away.
As for Team New Zealand, where would they be without the backing - often uncritical - of the local media? Yet last weekend, our team decided to side with the outsiders.
The New Zealand media were not asking for favours, just a level playing field. What's that song they want us to sing? Something about being loyal.
nzherald.co.nz/americascup
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